Pearl Jokes / Recent Jokes

A plane leaves the Los Angeles airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His co-pilot is Chinese. It`s the first time they`ve flown together, and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike. Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, "I don`t like Chinese." "No rike Chinese?" asks the co-pilot, "why not?" "You people bombed Pearl Harbor, that`s why!" "No, no," the co-pilot protests, "Chinese not bomb Pearl Hahbah! That Japanese, not Chinese." "Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese...doesn`t matter, you`re all alike!" There`s a few minutes of silence. "No rike Jews!" the co-pilot suddenly announces. "Why not?" asks the captain. "Jews sink Titanic." "Jews didn`t sink the Titanic!" exclaims the captain, "it was an iceberg!" "Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg, more...

Two pilots on a transatlantic flight got to talking. The Captain was Jewish, and the co-pilot was Chinese. It was their first flight together, and judging by the silence it was obvious that they didn't care for each other.
After half-an-hour, the Captain finally spoke. "I don't like Chinese," he said.
"Ooooh, no like Chinese? Why dat?" replied the co-pilot.
"You guys bombed Pearl Harbor. That's why I don't like Chinese," answered the Captain.
The co-pilot said, "Nooooo, noooo... Chinese no bomb Pearl Harbah. JAPANESE bomb Pearl Harbah."
The Captain replied, "Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese... it doesn't matter. You're all alike."
Another thirty minutes of silence ensued. Finally, the co-pilot said, "I no like Jew."
The Captain replied, "Why not? Why don't you like Jews?"
"Jews sink Titanic," answered the co-pilot.
The Captain attempted to correct him, "No, no. The more...

A Chinese man walks into a bar in America late one night and he sees
Steven Spielberg.
As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.
Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people
bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here."
The astonished Chinese man
replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour, it was the Japanese".
"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese your all the same," replied Spielberg.
In return, the Chinese man gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."
Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It
was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."
The Chinese man, replies,
"Iceberg, Spielberg, Carsberg, you're all the same."

The First Officer An airplane takes off from the airport. The captain is Jewish and the first officer is Chinese. It`s the first time they`ve flown together and it`s obvious by the silence that they don`t get along. After thirty minutes, the Jewish Captain speaks, "I don`t like Chinese." The First Officer replies, " Ooooh, no like Chinese? Why ees that?" The Captain says, "You bombed Pearl Harbor. That`s why I don`t like Chinese." The First Officer says, "Noooo, noooo.... Chinese not bomb Pearl Harbah. That Japanese, not Chinese." And the Captain answers, "Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese... it doesn`t matter, they`re all alike." Another thirty minutes of silence. Finally the First Officer says, "No like Jew." The Captain replies, "Why not? Why don`t you like Jews?" The First Officer says, "Jews sink Titanic." The Captain tries to correct him, "No, no. The Jews didn`t sink the Titanic. It was an more...

An elderly couple was on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her. So the captain sent the old man home with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the ship. It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife had died in the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck, and found an oyster attached to her butt. Inside it was a pearl worth $50, 000. Please advise?" The old man faxed back: Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap!