Penny Jokes / Recent Jokes
YOU KNOW YOU'RE DRINKING TOO MUCH COFFEE WHEN. .
Juan Valdez named his donkey after you
You ski uphill
You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked
You speed walk in your sleep
You have a bumper sticker that says:' Coffee drinkers are good in the sack.' You answer the door before people knock
You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse
You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth
You sleep with your eyes open
You have to watch videos in fast-forward
The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake
You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer
You lick your coffeepot clean
You spend every vacation visiting' Maxwell House.' You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work more...
What do you get when you ask a blonde, "a penny for your thoughts?" Change!
Kevin Federline was in Times Square yesterday to be the first to sign the "Save the Penny" petition, which is going to be presented to lawmakers in DC who are thinking about getting rid of the penny. I think I know why Kevin likes the penny so much. It's the only thing on Earth more useless than he is.
Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?A: Change.
There were three men flying in a plane. The first man threw a quarter out the window and said, good luck. the second man threw a penny out the window and said, good luck. The third man threw a bomb out the window and said, good luck. The plane landed and the three men got off the plane. The first man walked up to a little girl who was crying and asked her what was wrong. She said"A quarter fell from the sky and hit my cat." The second man walked up to a crying boy and asked what was wrong. The boy replied," A penny fell out of the sky and hit my dog." The third man walked up to a boy who was laughing so hard he was crying and asked what was wrong. The boy laughed and replied," My grandma farted and the house blew up!"
What's the difference between buying a lottery ticket and buying a penny stock?
In the first case, you help finance the local community swimming pool
In the second case, you help finance the stock promoters' home pool.