Period Jokes / Recent Jokes
I found a pair of period panties in my room today. I guess that's what happens when you hook up with a chick from the Renaissance fair. I knew they were hers because they're burlap.
The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out aboutsomething exciting and relate it to the class the next day.When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time.She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, since he sometimes could be a bit crude.But eventually his turn came. Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down.Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was. "It's a period," reported Johnnie."Well I can see that," she said. "But what is so exciting about a period.""Damned if I know," said Johnnie, "but this morning my sister said she missed one....Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the guy next door shot himself!"
Q: How would a blond punctuate the following?: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry" A: Fun period fun period fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry!
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Q: Why is Newfea's car has wind shield wipers inside?
A: Because when he dreives he mutters his lips with,"BRRERREEE....." sound.
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Q: Why does Newfea wanted to marry an African Woman?
A: Because he wanted to give her children Chocalte Milk.
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90 year old depressed lady visited her Doctor and asked, "Where is the heart located?" The Dr. replied, "Right under the breast". The next day she shot her knee!
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For her birthday the husband presented the wife a typewriter. Few days later the wife while typing mentioned to the husband, that the period doesnt seems to appear. So the husband returned the typewriter to the shop that he bought, complaining that his wife mentioned that the period doesn't more...
One guy's story...
I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive on the shoulder. This evidently pissed the driver off enough that he hung out his window and flipped the woman off.
"Man, that guy is stupid" I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything stupid to me or near me in traffic; and here's why...
I drive 38 miles each way, every day, to work. That's 76 miles, of which 16 each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway. So, if you just look at the 7 lanes I am not in, that means I pass something like a new car every 40 feet per lane. That's 7 cars every 40 feet for just the 32 miles that traffic is bumper to bumper.
That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars, plus the rest of my 34 mile commute which is not bumper-to-bumper, where I more...
Dear Dr. Dover:
I wish to apply for an operation to make me sterile. My reasons are numerous. After being married for seven years and having had 7 children, I have come to the conclusion that contraceptives are useless.
After getting married I was advised to use the rhythm method. Despite trying the Tango and the Samba, my wife fell pregnant and I ruptured myself doing the Cha-Cha. Apart from that, where do you find a band when you get the urge at two o'clock in the morning?
A doctor suggested the safe period. At the time, we were living with the in-laws and we had to wait 3 weeks for the safe period, when the house was empty. Needless to say this didn't work, and the wife got pregnant.
A lady of several years' experience said if we made love while breast feeding we would be all right. Well, I finished up with clear skin, Silky Hair and was very healthy, but the wife got pregnant yet again.
Another tale we heard was if the wife more...
A Night Before Christmas Parody (Technical Version)'Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual Yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including that species of domestic rodent known as Musmusculus. Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood burning caloric apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an imminent visitation from an eccentric philanthropist among whose folkloric appellations is the honorific title of St. Nicholas. The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their respective accommodations of repose, were experiencing subconscious visual hallucinations of variegated fruit confections moving rhythmically through their cerebrums. My conjugal partner and I, attired in our nocturnal head coverings, were about to take slumberous advantage of the hibernal darkness when upon the avenaceous exterior portion more...