Pete Jokes / Recent Jokes

Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off so who is left? Repeat.

Once, a gay man went to heaven. At the Great Gate, Saint Peter was waiting for him. After rewieving his records Saint Pete decided to let him in. "Follow me" he said, opening the gate and walking in.
After some walk, Saint Pete's keys accidentally fell on the ground. Unaware, he bent over to pick up the keys. That was something the gay man just couldn't resist, so he jumped on him and did his thing.
Saint Pete was furious.
"If you do that again, You'll go straight to hell! But follow me, we're almost there."
After some more walk, Pete dropped his keys again, and again, the gay man jumped on him. Saint Pete was even more furious than before, but decided to give the gay guy one last chance.
Again they walk and for the third time Pete drops his keys, so he bends over and picks them up. The gay guy, having no self control jumps on him. Pete is now fed up and sends the gay guy straight to hell.
A few weeks later, Saint Pete goes down to hell for more...

Pete is taking his friend hunting, but when they get to his favorite hunting spot, they notice 'No Trespassing' signs posted everywhere. He tells his friend to wait in the car and walks up to the nearby farmhouse. The farmer answers the door, and Pete says, "Sir, I've been hunting on this property all my life, but I notice that you now have a bunch of 'No Trespassing' signs posted. I wanted to see if it was still OK for me to hunt here."
The farmer tugs on his beard for a bit, and replies, "I'll make a deal with you. We have this cow out back that we have to kill for food, but we've grown too attached to it. If you go out back and shoot my cow, I'll let you hunt on my property."
Pete walks back to the car and decides to play a joke on his friend. "That miserable old bugger won't let us hunt on his property," he says. "I'm going to shoot his damn cow!" He then walks over to the side of the house and... BAM!
Suddenly, two more shots more...