Phrases Jokes / Recent Jokes

Gora-Boy was an unnaturally Gora Indian Boy. He wasn't very handsome, or good looking, or have a nice voice, but All the aunties loved him because Gora-Boy was so unbelievably Gora. His mother used to introduce him to all her friends proudly, and they used to remark on Gora's boys Gora-ness. She proudly used to say "he takes after me" and all the other aunties would smile and nod, and give Gora-Boy 10 pound notes in return for pulling tightly at his cheeks. One day, Gora-Boy was travelling on the train with his friends to Paris. Sitting behind him was White-Kid, who was called Richard. Richard had dark hair, and spoke in a funny way because his father was one quarter Indian. Gora-Boy sat opposite to some nice, Indian girls on the train, who naturally thought he was so handsome just because he was Gora, and for no other reason. He made them laugh because he could do really good impressions of Indian Uncles. He was especially funny when he would say Indian phrases with English more...

48 Phrases you wish you could say at work! 1. Ahhh...I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again...2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.3. How about never? Is never good for you? 4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.10. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and more...

USEFUL PHRASES AT WORK:

I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.

Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental

I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

No, my powers can only be used for good.

How about never? Is never good for you?

I'm really easy to get along more...

USEFUL PHRASES AT WORK:
I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
I`m not being rude. You`re just insignificant.
I`m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
It might look like I`m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I`m really quite busy.
Thank you. We`re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
The fact that no one understands you doesn`t mean you`re an artist
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental
I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don`t care.
I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
It`s a thankless job, but I`ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.
Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
No, my powers can only be used for good.
How about never? Is never good for you?
I`m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me
You sound reasonable... Time to up my more...

48 Phrases you wish you could say at work! 1. Ahhh... I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again... 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for you? 4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. 5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me. 6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. 7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message... 8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant. 9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying. 10. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit. 11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. 12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. 13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn. 14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. 15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. 16. Thank you. We're all more...

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. You too can win arguments. Simply follow these rules:

* Drink Liquor

Suppose you're at a party and some hotshot intellectual is expounding on the economy of Peru, a subject you know nothing about. If you're drinking some health-fanatic drink like grapefruit juice, you'll hang back, afraid to display your ignorance, while the hotshot enthralls your date. But if you drink several large martinis, you'll discover you have STRONG VIEWS about the Peruvian economy. You'll be a WEALTH of information. You'll argue forcefully, offering searing insights and possibly upsetting furniture. People will be impressed. Some may leave the room.

* Make things up.

Suppose, in the Peruvian economy argument, you are trying to prove Peruvians more...

Less Common Latin Phrases
Quo signo nata es?
What's your sign?
Romani quidem artem amatoriam invenerunt.
You know, the Romans invented the art of love.
O! Plus! Perge! Aio! Hui! Hem!
Oh! More! Go on! Yes! Ooh! Ummm!
Spero nos familiares mansuros.
I hope we'll still be friends.
Mellita, domi adsum.
Honey, I'm home.
Tam exanimis quam tunica nehru fio.
I am as dead as the nehru jacket.
Ventis secundis, tene cursum.
Go with the flow.
Totum dependeat.
Let it all hang out.
Te precor dulcissime supplex!
Pretty please with a cherry on top!
Magister Mundi sum!
I am the Master of the Universe!
Fac me cocleario vomere!
Gag me with a spoon!
Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure.
I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.
Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?
Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me?
Prehende uxorem meam, sis!
Take more...