Piano Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q. What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
A. You can't tuna fish.
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
While the fellow is sitting at the bar, waiting for his beer, he pulls out a 12 inch pianist and a small piano. Seeing this, the guy next to him asks where he got the tiny pianist.
"I got it from my genie," the fellow replied. Not quite believing him, the guy next to him asks if he can try and wishes for a million bucks. Before he knows it, there are a million ducks flying all over the place.
"What happened!" exclaimed the guy next to him. "I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks."
"Well," the fellow said, "my genie is hard of hearing. You really don't think I wished for a 12 inch pianist do you?"
Morris, as a young man in the Old West, wanted to be the best gunfighter alive. One night as he was sitting in a saloon, he spotted an old man who had the reputation of being the greatest gunfighter in his day. So Morris walked up to the old man and told him his dream. The old man looked him up and down and said, "I have a suggestion that is sure to help."
"Tell me, tell me," said the young man.
"Tie the bottom of your holster lower onto your leg."
"Will that make me a better gunfighter?"
"Definitely," said the old man.
Young Morris did what he was told and drew his gun and shot the bow tie off the piano player. "Wow, that really helped. Do you have any more suggestions?"
"Yeah, if you cut a notch in the top of your holster where the hammer hits, the gun will come out smoother."
"Will that make me a better gunfighter?"
"It sure will," said the old man.
The more...
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base? A flat major.
Holiday Party Festivity LevelsLevel I: Your guests are conversing quietly, nibbling at their hors d'oerves, and sipping their drinks. Later, some of the gather by the piano to sing carols while others admire the ornaments on your tree. Level II: Your guests are talking loudly, wolfing hors d'oerves, and drinking from the bottles. Some people gather by the piano to sing "I Gotta Be Me" while others begin rearranging your ornaments. Level III: Your guests are arguing wildly among themselves, those that haven't passed out from the upside-down margaritas. One person is singing "I Can't Get No Satisfaction", which can barely be heard over the sound of breaking ornaments. A small group of guests begin placing hors d'oerves in the piano to see what happens when the little hammers strike. Level IV: Your guests, hors d'oerves smeared over their naked bodies, are performing a ritualistic dance around the burning Christmas tree. The piano is missing. In general, you want to more...