Piano Jokes / Recent Jokes

The audience at a piano recital were appalled when a telephone rang just off stage. Without missing a note the soloist glanced toward the wings and called, "If that's my agent, tell him I'm working!"

A manager brings a dog into a nightclub to work. The dog is a brilliant piano player. He plays all the standards. He's sitting there, pounding out the tunes, when all of a sudden; a big dog comes in and drags him out.

The nightclub owner asks, "What happened?"

The manager says, "That's his mother. She wants him to be a doctor."

Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A: A flat minor.

Q: What do you get if you run over an army officer with a steam roller?
A: A flat major.

Q: What do you say to an army officer as you`re about to run him or her over with a steam roller?
A: Be flat, major.

Q: What do you say after you run an army officer over with a steam roller?
A: See flat major.

Q: What key is "Exploring The Cave With No Flashlight" written in?
A: C sharp or B flat.

Q: What do you get when an army officer puts his nose to the grindstone?
A: A sharp major.

Q: What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?
A: A natural major.

Q: What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won`t blow away?
A: Root position cords.

Veronica was practicing the piano when suddenly there was a loud pounding on the front door. She opened it and found a breathless cop. "Whats the matter?!" she asked. "Wheres the body?!" demanded the officer. "What are you talking about?" "We just got a tip that some guy named Mozart was being murdered in this house."

One day, a guy walks into a bar and he pulls a little 8 inch guy and a little piano out of his pocket and the little guy starts to play. Everyone looked at him and was just so amazed by this. One guy walks over to the other guy and asks him where he got that little man and the piano. He replies, "Well, out there, is a genie and he grants you but one wish." So, immediately after the guy heard that, he ran out to the genie. He walks back into the bar with all these ducks everywhere. The guy with the man and piano asks, "Where'd all those ducks come from?" The other says, "Well, I asked the genie for a million bucks, but he gave me a million ducks." The first guy says, "Oh, I guess I should have warned you that the genie is hard of hearing. You don't actually think I asked for a 8 inch pianist, do you?"

One day at school, the teacher was talking to the class about there parent's occupations.
Jane put up her hand and said, "My mother is a nurse".
The teacher said, "That's wonderful, she helps to cure sick people."
Andrew then out up his hand. "My father is a pilot," he said.
The teacher said, "Congratulations! Your father helps people get to where they are going."
Johnny then said, "Miss, my father plays the piano in a brothel."
The teacher quickly changed the topic, but kept it in her head for later reference.
At the parent/teacher night a month later Johnny's parents came to see the teacher and the teacher asked him if he really was a piano player in a brothel.
Johnny's father replied that he wasn't. But that is what he told Johnny because he didn't want to admit to being a lawyer.

A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands.
"Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?"
"I don't see why not," replies the doctor.
"That's funny," says the man. "I wasn't able to play it before."