Pick Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two newlyweds are riding in the back of a limo on the way to their honeymoon boat cruise. The husband says, "Honey, I want to stop and pick up some condoms before we go." "Good idea," she says. "While you're in there, pick me up some Dramamine."The groom gets out, walks into the drugstore and says to the clerk, "I'd like a box of condoms and a package of Dramamine, please.""Yes sir, says the clerk, "but do you mind if I ask you a question? If it makes you nauseous, why do you do it?"

A kid and his father is walking down the street. And the kis cholcate fell down and picks it up and eat it. His father yells at him and tells him that, things which fall down. don't pick it up. we will buy a new one from store. And then 1 day when the father, mother and the kid is waking. His mom slips and fall down. His father tried to pick his wife up. ANd the kid yells never pick a thing when it fells down we will buy a new one.

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,' Code 3' in housewares,... and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a' CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask' Why can't you people just leave me alone?
9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store more...

Why won't men ever pick up after themselves?
Why should we? It doesn't really bother us that much. Besides, we know darn well you'll pick it up. What's with all the belching and farting?
This usually only occurs after months of courting. It's our way to let you know that we're comfortable with you. Believe it or not, it's actually a sign of affection. Besides, holding it for extended periods of time gives us stomach cramps. Why do men hate shopping?
It's an evolutionary thing. Men hunt. Women gather. We just want to go out, kill it, and bring it back. Who wants to spend hours and hours to look at things we have no intention of killing? err... Buying? Why can't men ever leave the toilet seat down?
Have you ever seen one of us pee? The proper position of the toilet seat is up. Mathematically speaking, the proper position of the toilet seat is a function of the time spent peeing over the time spent sitting. The closer that ratio approaches one, the truer the more...

Which hand would you use to pick up a dangerous snake? Someone else's!

Two newlyweds are riding in the back of a limo on the way to their honeymoon boat cruise. The husband says, "Honey, I want to stop and pick up some condoms before we go." "Good idea," she says. "While you're in there, pick me up some Dramamine." The groom gets out, walks into the drugstore and says to the clerk, "I'd like a box of condoms and a package of Dramamine, please." "Yes sir, says the clerk, "but do you mind if I ask you a question? If it makes you nauseous, why do you do it?"

A young doctor moved to a small, remote town to replace the elderly doctor who was preparing to retire. When he was making his rounds, the older doctor suggested that the younger one accompany him so the residents could meet him and get used to having a new doctor.
The woman at the first house they visited complained of feeling sick to her stomach.
The older doctor said, "Perhaps you've been overdoing it with the candy and sweets. Why not cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that does the trick?"
As they left, the younger doctor said, "How on earth did you come to your diagnosis so quickly? You didn't even examine that woman."
"I didn't have to examine her," explained the older doctor. "You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? Well, when I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a lot of candy wrappers in the trash. Most likely, that was what was causing her to feel sick."
"Pretty more...