Pickup Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.
Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer more...

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last 600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.
Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer more...

Did you hear about the terrible automobile accident last night?
A polish family on vacation lost all of their children. The pickup truck they were riding in ran off the road into a lake and sank to the bottom.
The parents got out of the cab OK but all the kids in the back drowned...they couldn't get the tailgate open

A Sunday school teacher of preschoolers asked the students to learned one fact about Jesus by the following Sunday. The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned. Susie said, "He was born in a manger." Bobby said, "He threw the money changers out of the temple." Little Johnny said, "He has a red pickup truck but he doesn't know how to drive it." Curious, the teacher asked, "And where did you learn that, Johnny?" "From my Daddy," said Johnny. "Yesterday we were driving down the highway, and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of us and Daddy yelled at him,' Jesus Christ! Why don't you learn how to drive?'"

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her
sister a telegram to tell her the news.She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup more...

Did you hear about the terrible automobile accident last night? A polish family on vacation lost all of their children. The pickup truck they were riding in ran off the road into a lake and sank to the bottom.The parents got out of the cab OK but all the kids in the back drowned...they couldn't get the tailgate open

Every day, we are assaulted by stories of stupid people - many of whom use their stupidity for personal gain. From time to time, though, we hear of those who strive to achieve new levels of stupidity *while* also breaking the law. To these brave men and women - ooops, "women and men" - we present the highest possible honor: entry into the "Stupid-." Following are their accounts .. Kentucky (where else?): Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper. South Carolina: A man walked into a local police station, dropped a bag of cocaine on the counter, informed the desk sergeant that it was more...