Piled Jokes / Recent Jokes

Five Englishmen boarded a train just behind five Scots, who, as a group had only purchased one ticket. Just before the conductor came through, all the Scots piled into the toilet stall at the back of the car.

As the conductor passed the stall, he knocked and called'Tickets, please!" and one of the Scots slid a ticket under the door. It was punched, pushed back under the door, and when it was safe all the Scots came out and took their seats.
The Englishmen were tremendously impressed by the Scots' ingenuity. On the trip back, the five Englishmen decided to try this themselves and purchased only one ticket.

They noticed that, oddly, the Scots had not purchased any tickets this time. Anyway, again, just before the conductor came through, the Scots piled into one of the toilet stalls, the Englishmen into the other.
Then one of the Scots leaned out, knocked on the Englishmen's stall and called "Ticket, Please!" When the ticket slid out under more...

A man took his elderly father to a nursing home to check it out. He sat his father down on a sofa in the main hallway and went to talk with the administrators. The old man started to tilt slowly toward the left.
A doctor came by and said, "Let me help you." The Doctor piled several pillows on the left side of the old an so he would stay upright. The old man started to tilt slowly to the right. An orderly noticed and put several more pillows on his right side to keep him upright. The old man started to lean forward.
Then a nurse came by and piled several pillows in front of him. About this time, the son returned, "Well, Dad, isn't this a nice place?"
The old man replied, "I guess it's ok, but they won't let me fart."

A group from engineering and a group from marketing at a company decided to attend a conference together. They all needed to take a train to their destination. Each of the marketing people bought a ticket. All of the engineers got together and bought one ticket. The marketing people were convinced that the engineers would get thrown off the train. When the conductor came arround, all the engineers piled into the bathroom. The conductor knocked on the door asking for tickets, and they slid the one ticket out under the door, and the conductor continued on his way. On the way home, the marketing people figured they would use the same routine and purchased one ticket. The engineers did not purchase any tickets. The marketing people were again stunned. On the train, one of the engineers said here comes the conductor, and the marketing people quickly piled into the bathroom. One of the engineers walked up, knocked on the door, and announced he was the conductor, and the marketing group slid more...

'Twas the night before Christmas,
and we, being Jews,
My girlfriend and me-
we had nothing to do.
The Gentiles were home,
hanging stockings with care,
Secure in the knowledge
St. Nick would be there.
But for us, once the Hanukkah candles burned down,
There was nothing but boredom all over town.
The malls and the theaters were all closed up tight;
There weren't any concerts to got to that night.
A dance would have saved us, some ballroom or swing,
But we searched through the papers; there wasn't a thing.
Outside the window sat two feet of snow;
With the wind-chill, they said it was fifteen below.
And while all I could do was sit there and brood,
My girl saved the night and called out "CHINESE FOOD!"
So we ran to the closet, grabbed hats, mitts and boots
To cover out heads, our hands, and our foots.
We pulled on our jackets, all puffy with down.
And boarded "The T," bound for old more...

Santa took his elderly father to a nursing home to check it out. He sat his father down on a sofa in the main aisleway and went to talk with the administrators.
Santa's father started to tilt slowly toward the left.
A Doctor came by and said, "Let me help you."
The Doc piled several pillows on the left side of Santa's father so he would stay upright. Santa's father started to tilt slowly to the right. An orderly noticed and put several more pillows on his right side to keep him upright. Santa's father started to lean forward when a nurse came by and piled several pillows in front of him. About this time, Santa returned. Santa, "Well, Dad, isn't this a nice place."
Santa's father replied, "I guess it's ok, but they won't let me fart."