Piled Jokes / Recent Jokes
Twas the night before Christmas, and we, being Jews, My
girlfriend and me-we had nothing to do. The Gentiles were
home, hanging stockings with care, Secure in their knowledge
St. Nick would be there. But for us, once the Hanukkah
candles burned down, There was nothing but boredom all over town.
The malls and the theaters were all closed up tight; There
weren't any concerts to got to that night. A dance would have
saved us, some ballroom or swing, But we searched through the
papers; there wasn't a thing.
Outside the window sat two feet of snow; With the
wind-chill, they said it was fifteen below. And while all I
could do was sit there and brood, My girl saved the night and
called out "CHINESE FOOD!"
So we ran to the closet, grabbed hats, mitts and boots To
cover out heads, our hands, and our foots. We pulled on our
jackets, all puffy with down. And boarded "The T," bound more...
A man took his elderly father to a nursing home to check it out. He sat his father down on a sofa in the main aisleway and went to talk with the administrators. The old man started to tilt slowly toward the left. A Doctor came by and said, "Let me help you." The Doc piled several pillows on the left side of the old man so he would stay upright. The older man started to tilt slowly to the right. An orderly noticed and put several more pillows on his right side to keep him upright. The old man started to lean forward when a nurse came by and piled several pillows in front of him. About this time, the son returned. "Well, Dad, isn't this a nice place." The old man replied, "I guess it's ok, but they won't let me fart."
'Twas the night before Christmas,
and we, being Jews,
My girlfriend and me-
we had nothing to do.
The Gentiles were home,
hanging stockings with care,
Secure in the knowledge
St. Nick would be there.
But for us, once the Hanukkah candles burned down,
There was nothing but boredom all over town.
The malls and the theaters were all closed up tight;
There weren't any concerts to got to that night.
A dance would have saved us, some ballroom or swing,
But we searched through the papers; there wasn't a thing.
Outside the window sat two feet of snow;
With the wind-chill, they said it was fifteen below.
And while all I could do was sit there and brood,
My girl saved the night and called out "CHINESE FOOD!"
So we ran to the closet, grabbed hats, mitts and boots
To cover out heads, our hands, and our foots.
We pulled on our jackets, all puffy with down.
And boarded "The more...
'Twas the night before christmas, and we, being Jews,
My girlfriend and me - we had nothing to do.
The gentiles were home, hanging stockings with care,
Secure in their knowledge St. Nick would be there.
But for us, once the Chanukah candles burned down,
There was nothing but boredom all over town.
The malls and the theaters were all closed up tight;
There weren't any concerts to go to that night.
A dance would have saved us, some ballroom or swing,
But we searched through the papers; there wasn't a thing.
Outside the window sat 2 feet of snow;
With the windchill, they said, it was 15 below.
And while all I could do was sit there a brood,
My girl saved the night and called out: "CHINESE FOOD!"
So we ran to the closet, grabbed hats, mitts and boots -
To cover out heads, our hands and our foots.
We pulled on our jackets, all puffy with down,
And boarded the T bound for old Chinatown.
The train nearly empty, more...
Twas the night before Christmas, and we, being Jews,
My girlfriend and me -- we had nothing to do.
The Gentiles were home, hanging stocking with care,
Secure in their knowledge St. Nick would be there.
But for us, once the Hanukkah candles burned down,
There was nothing but boredom all over town.
The malls and the theaters were all closed up tight;
There weren't any concerts to go to that night.
A dance would have saved us, some ballroom or swing,
But we searched through the papers; there wasn't a thing.
Outside the window sat two feet of snow;
With the wind-chill, they said it was fifteen below.
And while all I could do was sit there and brood,
My girl saved the night and called out "CHINESE FOOD!"
So we ran to the closet, grabbed hats, mitts and boots --
To cover out heads, our hands, and our foots.
We pulled on our jackets, all puffy with down.
And boarded "The more...