Pilgrims Jokes / Recent Jokes
[Original Author: Richard Lederer, St Paul's School]
One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a
student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from certifiably
genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through
college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot.
The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by
Camelot. The climate in the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of
the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular
cube. The pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.
The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were
created from an more...
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims!
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.
If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
Their AGE
Why can't you take a turkey to church?
Because they use such FOWL language
What are the feathers on a turkey's wings called?
Turkey feathers
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?
The turkey trot
Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Yes - a building can't jump at all
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?
Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving
How can you make a turkey float?
You need 2 scoops of ice cream, some root beer, and a turkey
What kind of music more...
Q. What sound does a space turkey make?
A. hubble, hubble, hubble.
Keep your eye off the turkey dressing
It makes him blush!!!!
I heard Jeff Smith, aka The Frugal Gourmet, read this on the air. Apparently a letter from a viewer:
"I have had my turkey in the freezer for a year and a half. Will it take longer to thaw?"
Q: If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
A: Their age!
Q: What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
A: Plymouth Rock!
Q: How do you hold a turkey in suspense?
(get it?)
Q: What's the best way to stuff a turkey?
A: Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
A: Pilgrims!
Q: Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey at Thanksgiving?
A: Because they couldn't get the moose in the oven!
Q: What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?
A: "Quack! Quack! Quack!"
Q: What did the Pilgrim vampire celebrate?
A: Fangsgiving!