Pill Jokes / Recent Jokes
A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing
interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her it is still
experimental and tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at
dinner. So, that night at dinner, she does.
About a week later she's back at the doctor. She says, "Doc, the pill
worked great!! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't five
minutes and he jumps up, rakes all the food and dishes on the floor,
grabs me, rips all my clothes off and ravages me right there on the
table!"
The doctor says, "I'm sorry, we didn't realize the pill was that strong.
The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages."
"Naah... ", she says, "that's okay. We aren't going back to that
Restaurant anyway."
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What do Disneyland and Viagra have in common?
You wait one hour for a two minute ride!
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The modest young more...
A farmer had a bull that wasn't getting the job done that he was supposed to, so the farmer went to town to see the veterinarian. The vet gave the farmer a large pill and a small pill. He instructed the farmer to give the bull the large pill. And if that didn't do the job, then to give the bull the small pill also.
The farmer gave the bull the large pill and it was obvious that that was all that was needed. The vet had instructed the farmer to destroy the small pill if not used. The farmer was working on the well at the time so he decided to just drop it in 7 the well. A few days later while he was in town he saw the vet on the street.
The vet asked about the bull and the farmer told him the big pill did the job so he dropped the small pill in the well. The vet got excited and said, "You aren't drinking that well water, are you?"
"Heck no," the farmer replied. "I can't even get the pump handle down!"
And more on blondes...Q: But why do brunettes take the pill? A: Wishful Thinking.
A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says:
"Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water."
Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers:
"Jeez doc, exactly what's my problem?"
Doctor says,
"You're not drinking enough water."
101. Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she's pregnant.
102. Q: How do blondes get pregnant?
A: And you thought blondes were dumb.
103. Q: What will she ask you?
A: "Is it mine?"
104. Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up?
A: The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.
105. Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.
106. Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
107. Q: Why do Blondes take the pill?
A: So they know what day of the week it is.
108. Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: Because it kept falling out.
109. Q: But more...
A woman went to her doctor complaining that her husband was losing interest in sex.
The doctor gave her a pill, warning her that it was still in the experimental stages. "Just slip this into his mashed potatoes," the doctor instructed. "Let me know if it helps."
About a week later, she returned to the doctor.
"Doc, the pill worked great," she said. "I put it in his mashes potatoes just as you suggested. A few minutes later, he jumped up, threw all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped off all my clothing and ravaged me right there on the table!"
"I'm sorry," replied the doctor, "we had no idea the pill was that strong. We would be happy to pay for any damages."
"Oh, don't worry about it," she replied, "We won't be going back to that restaurant again."
Q: Why do Blondes take the pill?
A: So they know what day of the week it is.