Pilot And Steward Jokes / Recent Jokes

A pilot and a co-pilot were descending for a landing at an airport they had never been to before. The pilot looked out the windshield, and suddenly exclaimed to the co-pilot: "Holy cow! Look how short the runway is! I've never seen one that short!"

The co-pilot looked out the windshield. "Wow! you're right! That's incredible! Are you sure we can make it?"
"Well we better, we're almost out of fuel."

So the captain got on the intercom, and notified the passengers to put their heads between their knees, and prepare for an emergency landing. Then he set the flaps to full down, and slowed the plane to just over stall speed. The big jumbo jet came screaming in, on the ragged edge of control. The pilot's hands were sweating, the co-pilot was praying.

They touched down, and came screeching to a halt just before the edge of the runway, the tires smoking.

"HEW! That was CLOSE!" yelled the captain. more...

What's the purpose of the propeller? To keep the pilot cool. If you don't think so, just stop it and watch him sweat!

A young guy in a two-engine fighter was flying escort for a B-52 and generally being a nuisance, acting like a hotdog, flying rolls around the lumbering old bomber. The hotdog said over the air, "Anything you can do, I can do better."

The veteran bomber pilot answered, "Try this hot-shot."
The B-52 continued its flight, straight and level.

Perplexed, the hotdog asked, "So? What did you do?"
"I just shut down two engines, kid."

"Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees.."
"But Center, we are at 35, 000 feet, how much noise can we make up here?"
"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 707 makes when it hits a 727?"

Cessna: "Jones tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel."
Tower: "Roger Cessna 12345, reduce airspeed to best glide!! Do you have the airfield in sight?!?!!"
Cessna: "Uh... tower, I am on the south ramp; I just want to know where the fuel truck is."

"Didn't you read this book,' Black Box', in our previous flight? Haven't you ended it yet?", the woman asked her husband.

"Yes I did", answered the husband, "but everyone knows that the first thing the rescuers look for after a plane crash is the Black Box".

A man telephoned an airline office in New York and asked, "How long does it take to fly to Boston?"
The clerk said, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the man said and hung up.