Ping Jokes / Recent Jokes

Four nuns are driving to market and get hit by a drunk driver and all four nuns die. They get in line to go through pearly gates and wait for St. Peter to admit them.
St. Peter goes to the nuns and says "I realize that you are sisters of the cloth, but I must ask you if you have anything to report to me that might be a sin."
The sisters thought for a while and the first nun went to St. Peter. "I once touched a man's penis with this finger". St. Peter thought for a while and said. "I'm sure it was in the line of duty; Place your finger in that holy water and swirl it around." She did as she was instructed and "PING" she was in.
The second nun went to St. Peter and said, "I once touched a man's genitals with my entire right hand." Again St. Peter thought for a while and said, "I'm sure it was within your duties; Swirl your hand in that holy water and go in." The second nun did as she was instructed and more...

there is three soliders and they all want to go home. so the capitin says who ever can bring back the most ping pong balls wins and gets to go home. so the first solider goes out for about 1 hour and comes back with a wheel barrow full of ping pong balls. so the capitin says good job solider. the second solider goes out and is gone for 8 hours and comes back with a diesl trailer full of ping pong balls. capitin says great job solider. so the third solider leaves and comes back 30 minutes later bruised and beat up and bleeding and he has a sack over his sholder.
Capitin goes where are your ping pong balls!!
Solider goes ping pong balls i thought you said king kongs balls!!!

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Ping Pong!
Ping Pong who?
Ping Pong! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Ping Pong!
Ping Pong who?
Ping Pong the witch is dead....!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ping Pong!
Ping Pong who?
Ping Pong the witch is dead....!

One day, a man held a contest. The winner would be who could get the most ping pong balls in one day.
The first man comes back with 100.
The second man comes back with 110.
The third man comes back with a whole ton of bruises. The men ask him why he didn't collect any ping pong balls and why he was bruised. He said,
"Ping pong balls? I thought he said King Kong's balls!