Pioneer Jokes / Recent Jokes

(Reproduced without permission from Dave Barry's humor Archive)
Here is a dissertation on physical science for your enlightenment. I don't know where it came
from so it must be true!
Today's scientific question is: What in the world is electricity and where does it go after it
leaves the toaster?
Here is a simple experiment that will teach you an important electrical lesson: On a cool dry
day, scuff your feet along a carpet, then reach your hand into a friend's mouth and touch one of
his dental fillings. Did you notice how your friend twitched violently and cried out in pain?
This teaches one that electricity can be a very powerful force, but we must never use it to hurt
others unless we need to learn an important lesson about electricity.
It also illustrates how an electrical circuit works. When you scuffed your feet, you picked up
batches of "electrons", which are very small objects that carpet manufacturers weave into more...

Nearly everything has changed in the United States since the Bill of Rights was written and adopted. We still see the original words when we read those first 10 Amendments to the Constitution, yet the meaning is vastly different now.

And no wonder. We`ve gone from a country of a few million to a few hundred million. The nation`s desire to band together was replaced by revulsion of togetherness. We exchanged a birthright of justice for a magic bullet, and replaced the Pioneer Spirit with the Pioneer Stereo.

We`re not the people who founded this country and our Bill of Rights should reflect this. As we approach the 21st Century, it`s time to bring the wording up to date showing what we are and who we are.

AMENDMENT I

Congress shall make no law establishing religion, but shall act as if it did; and shall make no laws abridging the freedom of speech, unless such speech can be construed as "commercial speech" or "irresponsible more...