Pitcher Jokes / Recent Jokes
A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked up to have a talk with him. "I've figured out your problem," he told the young southpaw. "You always lose control at the same point in every game." "When is that?" "Right after the National Anthem."
Why couldnt the Gorilla pitcher make it in the major leagues? His balk was worse than his bite!
Who's On First(Sketch by Bud Abbot and Lou Costello)LOU: I love baseball. When we get to St. Louis, will you tell me the guys' name on the team so when I go to see them in that St. Louis ball park I'll be able to know those fellows? BUD: All right. But you know, strange as it may seems, they give ball players nowadays very peculiar names, nick names, like "Dizzy Dean." Now on the St. Louis team we have Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third --LOU: That's what I want to find out. I want you to tell me the names of the fellows on the St. Louis team. BUD: I'm telling you. Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third --LOU: You know the fellows' names? BUD: Yes. LOU: Well, then who's playin' first. BUD: YesLOU: I mean the fellow's name on first base. BUD: Who. LOU: The fellow playin' first base for St. Louis. BUD: Who. LOU: The guy on first base. BUD: Who is on first. LOU: Well, what are you askin' me for? BUD: I'm not asking you -- I'm telling more...
An old man and his wife lived deep in the hills and seldom saw many people. One day a peddler came by to sell his goods and asked the man if he or his wife wanted to buy something. "Well, my wife ain't home, she's gone down to the creek to wash clothes, but lemma see what you got," said the man. The peddler showed him pots and pans, tools and gadgets, but the old man wasn't interested. Then the man spotted a mirror and said, "What's that?" Before the peddler could tell him it was a mirror, the old man picked it up and said, "My God how'd you get a picture of my Pappy?" The old man was so happy, he traded his wife's best pitcher for it. The peddler left before the wife came back and spoiled his sale. The old man was worried that the wife would be mad at him for trading her best pitcher, so he hid it in the barn behind some boxes of junk. He would go out to the barn 2 or 3 times a day to look at the "picture" and eventually the wife got more...
President Clinton and his wife are at the first baseball game of the season. At the start of the game the pitcher comes up in the stands and whispers something in Clinton’s ear. All of a sudden Clinton looks at Hillary and yells, “Okay, Hillary, GET OUT! ”.
She looks surprised but leaves. The pitcher looks at Clinton and says, “No, I said to throw out the first PITCH! ”
One day a priest was playing baseball. A nun was cheerleading near first base.
The priest was up to bat. The pitcher threw the ball. The priest swung, missed, and said "Dammit!
I missed!"
"Don't you say that mister or God will strike you with a bolt of lightning," the nun said.
Again the pitcher threw the ball. The priest swung, missed, and said "Dammit!
I missed!"
"If you say that one more time mister, God will strike you with a bolt of lightning," the nun said.
Once again the pitcher threw the ball. The priest swung, missed, and said "Dammit! I missed!"
A bolt of lightning strikes the nun and God says "Dammit! I missed!"
President Clinton and his wife are at the first baseball game of the season. At the start of the game the pitcher comes up in the stands and whispers something in Clinton's ear. All of a sudden Clinton looks at Hillary and yells, "Okay, Hillary, GET OUT!". She looks surprised but leaves. The pitcher looks at Clinton and says, "No, I said to throw out the first PITCH!"