Planet Jokes / Recent Jokes

Animal Planet announced a new series with Mike Tyson. The network will follow him around to see if he's smarter than wildlife.

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets. First, they called the brunette in and asked her a question.
"If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and why?"
After pondering the question she answered, "I would like to go to Mars because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra terrestrial life on the planet."
They said "well okay, thank you." And told her that they would get back to her.
Next, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her the same question. In reply, "I would like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings." Again, "thank you" and they would get back to her.
Finally, the blond entered the room and they asked her the same question they asked the brunette and the redhead. She thought for a while and replied, "I would like to go to the sun."
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NO ZAMBODIANS, PLEASE: Judge Rules Out Prince Mongo’s Costume
MEMPHIS, Tenn. - A judge has ruled that a defendant can’t show up for trial wearing fur, bones, goggles and pale green body paint, even if he is from the planet Zambodia.
But an attorney for the man who calls himself Prince Mongo wants to make a federal case out of his client’s 10-day jail sentence for contempt of court. Slug PM-Prince Mongo. New, may stand. Federal court hearing starts at 1 p. m. EDT.

Big Brother: That planet over there is Mars.

Little Brother: Then that other one must be Pa's.

Things You Wish You Could Say at Work, but Probably Shouldn't
Well, aren't we just a ray of @#$%-ing sunshine?
Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
Do I look like a @#$%-ing people person?
This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
You! Off my planet!!
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
Do they ever shut up on your planet?
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets. First, they called the brunette in and asked her a question.
"If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and why?"
After pondering the question she answered, "I would like to go to Mars because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra terrestrial life on the planet."
They said, "Well okay, thank you." And told her that they would get back to her.
Next, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her the same question. In reply, "I would like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings." Again, "Thank you," and they would get back to her.
Finally, the blond entered the room and they asked her the same question they asked the brunette and the redhead. She thought for a while and replied, "I would like to go to the sun."
The people more...

Overused plot lines:

Post-cataclysmic rag-tag armies struggle to kick the Rooskies out of the good ol' US of A.

Post-cataclysmic rag-tag armies struggle to survive against gangs of bandits, mutants, cyberpunks, bikers, etc.

The rag-tag rebel army/fleet struggles valiantly to overthrow the Evil Empire.

The Good Guys travel through time to stop a historical Bad Guy, usually Hitler.

The Bad Guy travels through time to kill the Hero in his childhood, or prevent him from ever being born.

The Chronocops travel in time to catch a Bad Guy who escaped into some other era.

Scientists work feverishly to develop a cure for the Supervirus or a weapon to stop the Invincible Bad Guys.

An alien:

Is stranded on earth;

Befriends a human child or falls in love with an earth gal;

Is pursued by shadowy malevolent Pentagon officials under the pretense of national more...