Plates Jokes / Recent Jokes
The "pound" key on your keyboard (#) is called an octotroph.
The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat. The "dot" over the letter "i" is called a tittle. Table tennis balls have been known to travel off the paddle at speeds up to 160 km/hr. Pepsi originally contained pepsin, thus the name. The original story from "Tales of 1001 Arabian Nights" begins, "Aladdin was a little Chinese boy." Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously. Honey is the only natural food that is made without destroying any kind of life. What about milk you say? A cow has to eat grass to produce milk and grass is living. The most common name in the world is Mohammed. Michael Jordan makes more money from NIKE annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined. The volume of the earth's moon is the same as the volume of the Pacific Ocean. Cephalacaudal recapitulation is the reason our extremities develop faster more...
(Long)
It was the funniest damn thing that has ever happened to me. A couple of weeks ago we decided to cruise out to Ryan's Steakhouse for dinner. It was a Wednesday night, which means that macaroni and beef was on the hot bar, indeed the only night of the week that it is served. Wednesday night is also kid's night at Ryan's, complete with Dizzy the Clown wandering from table to table entertaining them. It may seem that the events about to be told have little connection to those two circumstances, but all will be clear in a moment.
We went through the line and placed our orders for the all-you-can-eat hot bar then sat down as far away from the front of the restaurant as possible in order to keep the density of kids down a bit. Then I started my move to the hot bar. Plate after plate of macaroni and beef were consumed that evening. I tell you-in all, four heaping plates of the pseudo-Italian ambrosia were shoved into my belly. I was sated. Perhaps a bit too much, more...
Once an Indian minister was on a tour to France and his French counterpart invited him for a dinner. When the Indian minister arrived at the latter's residence, he was astonished to see that the latter was living in a very grand and luxurious bungalow and they had dinner in silver spoons and plates and all his bungalow were filled of precious antiques and other articles. He can not hold himself back and asked the French minister the reason for him living in such a grand style. On asking the French minister took him to a window.
French Minister: Do you see the river over there?
Indian Minister: Yes.
French Minister: Do you see the bridge over it?
Indian Minister: Yes.
French Minister: 10%.
After 5 years the same French minister got a chance to visit India and now it was the turn of our same Indian minister to invite him for a dinner. When the French minister arrived at the Indian minister's residence, he was stunned to see that the latter was living in a more...
ADAM & EVE
One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Adam and Eve, but couldn't
find them. Later in the day God saw Adam and asked where he and Eve were
earlier. Adam said, "This morning Eve and I made love for the first time."
God said, "Adam, you have sinned. I knew this would happen. Where is Eve
now?"
Adam replied, "She's down at the river, washing herself out."
"Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell funny."
THE EPIC OF THE BAKED BEAN
Once upon a time there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked
beans. He loved them, he adored them, he yearned for them. But they always
caused him a great deal of embarrassment shortly after eating them. The
reaction of his body to the beans was swift and terrible to behold.
One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they
would marry, he realized she might be even more embarrassed and more...