Platform Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man travelling on a train ask the ticket collector what time the train stops at Victoria.
"This train doesn't stop at Victoria, its the express"
"Your joking!, I NEED to get off at Victoria"
"Sorry sir, this train will not stop at Victoria"
"There must be something you can do"
"Well there is one thing"
"What, anything, I need to get off"
"Well, I'll get the driver to slow down and I'll dangle you out the door and lower you onto the platform"
"My god! Will that work"
"Its worth a try"
The train approaches the platform at 50 mph
The ticket collector hangs the man in mid air out the door,
The man starts running. The man is running in mid air.
"Run faster! Run faster!"
The ticket collector lowers the man down.
The mans feet touch the platform! Smoke flies of his shoes and his heel comes off. The man is running for his more...

An atheist professor was teaching a college class and he told the class that he was going to prove that there was no God.
He said, "God if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!"
Ten minutes went by. He kept taunting God, saying, "Here I am God, I'm still waiting." He got down to the last couple of minutes and a big 240-pound football player happened to walk by the door and heard what the professor said.
The football player walked into the classroom and in the last minute, hit the professor full force, sending him flying off the platform.
The professor got up, obviously shaken, and said, "Where did you come from, and why did you do that?"
The football player replied, "God was busy; He sent me!"

An atheist professor was teaching a college class and he told the class that he was going to prove that there is no God.
He said, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!"
Ten minutes went by.
He kept taunting God, saying, "Here I am, God. I'm still waiting."
He got down to the last couple of minutes and a big 240 pound football player in the class walked up to the professor, hit him full force in the face, and sent him flying from his platform.
The professor struggled, obviously shaken and yelled, "What's the matter with you? Why did you do that?"
The football player replied, "God was busy; He sent me!"

An atheist professor was teaching a college class and he told the students that he was going to prove to them that there was not a God.
He said, "God if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!"
Ten minutes went by. He kept taunting God, saying, "Here I am God, I'm still waiting"
He got down to the last couple of minutes when an enormous 265 pound football player happened to walk by the door and heard what the professor said.
The football player walked into the classroom and in the last minute, he walked up, hit the professor full force, and sent him flying off the platform.
The professor got up, obviously shaken and said, "Where did you come from, and why did you do that?"
The football player replied, "God was busy; He sent me!"

Blake and his parents were drinking at the bar in a train station when they heard a whistle. The three of them rushed out of the bar onto the platform only to discover that they had missed the train. "The next train is in one hour," said the stationmaster. The three went back into the bar. The parents had another drink; Blake had a Pepsi. Again they heard a whistle, rushed out and discovered the train pulling away. "Next one is sixty minutes from now!" said the stationmaster. An hour later, Blake, with his mom and dad, raced out onto the platform, and his parents leaped onto the train as it pulled away. The boy was left standing on the platform and began to laugh uproariously. "Your parents just left you," said the stationmaster. "Why are you laughing?" "They came to see me off!"