Pleaded Jokes

We were in Salino, Utah when we were arrested for not going through a green light. We pleaded "maybe". I asked the judge if he knew what time it is, he did, and I said, "No further questions."

I went to court for a parking ticket. I pleaded insanity. I said, "Your honor, why would anyone in their right mind park in the passing lane?"

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... When I came back the entire area was missing.

I used to be an airline pilot. I got fired because I kept locking the keys in the plane. They caught me on an 80 foot stepladder with a coat hanger.

One night a jet flew a little bit too close to my house. I was walking from the living room to the kitchen, and the stewardess told me to sit down.

When I go, I'm flying Air more...

Paul Carthy, 25, pleaded guilty in Exeter, England, in September to theft
subsequent to his original charge of shoplifting from a liquor store. In
the second theft, he had stolen the magnetic letters off the name board
that was held up to his face when his mug shot was taken.

The mother of a boy who claimed Michael Jackson molested him pleaded no contest to welfare fraud. Michael, who disappointed the audience with his performance at the World Music Awards, has pleaded no contest to being a complete freak.

A newly nominated chief minister was under pressure from all his supporters to appoint them as cabinet minister. Or else!
The much harassed chief minister sought the
advice of his guru. *Very simple', replied the sage,
'select nine on three principles.'
'O holy one!' pleaded the chief minister,' please
enlighten this ignoramus on the three principles of
selection.'
'Three should be sachha - truthful.'
The chief minister looked over the list of his
supporters and crossed out all the names.
"Three should be suchha - dean.'
The chief minister took a second look at the list
and again crossed out all the names.
'Three should be luchhas - vagabonds.'
The chief minister went over the list and looked more puzzled than before.' All of them qualify under the third category. "What should I do?' he pleaded.
'Give all of them some kind of post or the other. Tell everyone that they are all luchhas and the only more...

Three couples are in line at the pearly gates. St. Peter says to the first couple, "Sorry, I can't let you in." "Why not?" asked the husband. "Because all the two of you ever cared about was drinking. "You were either stone drunk or hung over. "You didn't have a sober day in your marriage." said St. Peter.
"That's not true!" pleaded the couple. "Really, now." said St. Peter. "What's your wife's name?" "Sherry.", said the man "See, you even married a woman named after a drink!" said St. Peter just as he released a trap door, sending them straight down to hell. Then he a told the second couple they couldn't get in to Heaven, either. "Why not?" asked the second husband. "Because all you ever cared about was making money, and you didn't care how you did it. You would cheat anybody, anytime to make your fortune." said St. Peter. "You even cheated your own brothers and more...