Pleaded Jokes / Recent Jokes
The mother of a boy who claimed Michael Jackson molested him pleaded no contest to welfare fraud. Michael, who disappointed the audience with his performance at the World Music Awards, has pleaded no contest to being a complete freak.
Paul Carthy, 25, pleaded guilty in Exeter, England, in September to theft
subsequent to his original charge of shoplifting from a liquor store. In
the second theft, he had stolen the magnetic letters off the name board
that was held up to his face when his mug shot was taken.
A newly nominated chief minister was under pressure from all his supporters to appoint them as cabinet minister. Or else!
The much harassed chief minister sought the
advice of his guru. *Very simple', replied the sage,
'select nine on three principles.'
'O holy one!' pleaded the chief minister,' please
enlighten this ignoramus on the three principles of
selection.'
'Three should be sachha - truthful.'
The chief minister looked over the list of his
supporters and crossed out all the names.
"Three should be suchha - dean.'
The chief minister took a second look at the list
and again crossed out all the names.
'Three should be luchhas - vagabonds.'
The chief minister went over the list and looked more puzzled than before.' All of them qualify under the third category. "What should I do?' he pleaded.
'Give all of them some kind of post or the other. Tell everyone that they are all luchhas and the only more...
A POLICE officer caught a young street goonda beating up another.
'You are charged under Section 324 of the Indian Penal Code for causing physical injury to this man he said with authority.
'Sir, pleaded the goonda,' I am young. Kindly reduce the offence form Section 324 IPC to something lower. I will do whatever Sewa I can.'
'All right, I will reduce it by 17 and charge you under Section 307 IPC (causing serious injury).
'Can't you make it a little lower?' pleaded the culprit.
'I could. Instead of reducing it by 17, 1 could reduce it by 22 and charge you under Section 302' (murder).
'May Hazoor live long,' said the grateful goonda.
Three couples are in line at the pearly gates. St. Peter says to the first couple, "Sorry, I can't let you in." "Why not?" asked the husband. "Because all the two of you ever cared about was drinking. "You were either stone drunk or hung over. "You didn't have a sober day in your marriage." said St. Peter.
"That's not true!" pleaded the couple. "Really, now." said St. Peter. "What's your wife's name?" "Sherry.", said the man "See, you even married a woman named after a drink!" said St. Peter just as he released a trap door, sending them straight down to hell. Then he a told the second couple they couldn't get in to Heaven, either. "Why not?" asked the second husband. "Because all you ever cared about was making money, and you didn't care how you did it. You would cheat anybody, anytime to make your fortune." said St. Peter. "You even cheated your own brothers and more...