Plenty Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
2. Check your email.
3. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.
4. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate.
5. Check your email.
6. Stop off at another floor, on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn't started the paper yet either, you can both walk to McDonald's and buy a hamburger to help you concentrate. If your friend shows you her paper, typed, double-spaced and bound in one of those irritating see-thru plastic folders, drop her.
7. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
8. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.
9. Check your email.
10. You know, you haven't written to that kid you met at camp since more...

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair, in a well lit place, with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
2. Check your email.
3. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand.
4. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate.
5. Check your email.
6. Stop off at another floor on the way back, and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn't started the paper yet either, you can both walk to McDonalds and buy a hamburger to help you concentrate. If your friend shows you her paper, typed, double-spaced, and bound in one of those irritating see-thru plastic folders, drop her.
7. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair, in a clean, well lit place, with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
8. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.
9. Check your email.
10. You know, you haven't written to that kid you met at camp since fourth more...

Noah went to see God to ask him for a new and improved 'ark'. "Ok Noah. I think it is time you had a new ark", God said. "Take a seat, tell me your ideas, and I'll start a design". "Well, firstly, I'd like it to have plenty of floors. Say, 5 or 6", Noah said. "Ok... 5 or 6 floors" "I'd also like some spaces on the floors as well, to keep things in."
"Right, spaces." And with this God starts drawing a few designs for Noah. "Would you like some animals in there to start you off?" God asked him. "Erm... Fish!" Noah replied. "Fish. Ok. What sort? Any in particular?"
"Carp, and plenty of them", Noah said. "Carp. Anything else needed?" God asked. And they went through various items such as the colour, doors, windows, etc. Finally, between them both they'd come up with a design that they both agreed on. Sitting back in his chair admiring the new 'ark', God asked Noah, more...

Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lighted area with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
Check your email.
Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.
Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate.
Check your email.
Stop off at another floor, on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn't started the paper yet either, you can both walk to McDonalds and buy a hamburger to help you concentrate. If your friend shows you her paper, typed, double-spaced, and bound in one of those irritating see-through plastic folders, drop her.
When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.
Check your email.
You know, you haven't written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You'd better more...

Any students out there? Here is some advice for writing your term papers :)
1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.
3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate.
4. Stop off at another floor on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn't started the paper yet either, you can both walk to McDonald's and buy a hamburger to help you concentrate. If your friend shows you his paper, typed, double-spaced, and bound in one of those irritating see-thru plastic folders, drop him.
5. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
6. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.
7. Check your e-mail; reply to everyone who sent you more...

A French guy, an American guy and a Cuban guy are standing on a cliff. The French guy throws a case of fine wine off the cliff.' 'Why did you do that?''asked the other men.' 'We have plenty of fine wine in France,'' said the man. Next, the Cuban guy throws a box of fine cigars off the cliff.' 'Why did you do that?'' asked the other men.' 'We have plenty of cigars in Cuba,'' said the Cuban man. Finally, the American man pickes up the Cuban man and throw' him off the cliff.' 'What did you do that for?'' asked the French man.' 'We have plenty of Cubans in America,'' answered the American man.

A French guy, an American guy and a Cuban guy are standing on a cliff. The French guy throws a case of fine wine off the cliff. Why did you do that? asked the other men. We have plenty of fine wine in France, said the man. Next, the Cuban guy throws a box of fine cigars off the cliff. Why did you do that? asked the other men. We have plenty of cigars in Cuba, said the Cuban man. Finally, the American man pickes up the Cuban man and throw him off the cliff. What did you do that for? asked the French man. We have plenty of Cubans in America, answered the American man.