Plug Jokes / Recent Jokes

Techronia Technical Support Services
"The world of technology can be difficult for some." - Press Release
We offer a range of quality services to satisfy any possible technical support requirement. Time and time again, companies rely on our services to fish their workers out of daily situations and problems. Most companies only give you the "royal shaft" treatment, Techronia gives you the answers. We probe deep into the partially working minds of our clients and delve into their shallow waters to discover what they want from us. Whether it's the fact that they are incapable of figuring out a device like the "mouse" that 6. 7 million other people know how to use, or finding that ever elusive power switch for the monitor, we are here to help.
Lets look at just some of the service offerings available from Techronia at competitive industry rates...
Techronia Phone Support
When the statement "Click Here" isn't clear enough; more...

Oil Change instructions for Women:
1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.
2) Drink a cup of coffee.
3) 15 minutes later write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.
Money spent: Oil Change $20. 00 Coffee $1. 00 Total $21. 00

Oil Change instructions for Men:
1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50. 00.
2) Stop by liquor store and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20. 00, drive home.
3) Open a beer and drink it.
4) Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands. Jack car up.
5) Find jack stands under kids pedal car.
6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7) Place drain pan under engine.
8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
10) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on face and arms more...

The Three Laws of Secure Computing 1) Don't buy a computer. 2) If you do buy a computer, don't plug it in. 3) If you do plug it in, sell it and return to step 1.

The Three Laws of Secure Computing1) Dont buy a computer. 2) If you do buy a computer, dont plug it in. 3) If you do plug it in, sell it and return to step 1.

WOMEN
Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the last oil change.
Drink a cup of coffee.
15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.
MEN
Go to auto parts store and write a check for 50 dollars for oil, filter, oil lift (AKA kitty litter), hand cleaner and scented tree.
Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking back to auto parts store to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.
Open a beer and drink it.
Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
Place drain pan under engine.
Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
Give up and use crescent wrench.
Unscrew drain plug.
Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in process.
Clean up.
Have another beer while oil is draining.
Look for oil filter wrench.
Give up; poke oil filter with Phillips more...

What really blows my mind about iPods is all the accessories. You can't go into a store or open a magazine without seeing 200 things you can plug your iPod into these days. They've got jeans you can plug them into, toilet paper holders, they've got shoes now - Nike has shoes...seriously. I'm waiting for Apple to tap into that niche market of lonely women who like to download music by coming out with the iBrator:
"1000 songs in your...um...pocket"

A young boy who had just came from Spain, and his English was not very good, and he only knew the words, i did it, i did it..forks and knives...he stole my lolly pop... bring it on fat boy... and plug it in, plug it in. He was playing outside when a police came by and asked, there has been a murder, do you know who did it? the young boy said" i did it, i did it" The police said "how did you do it?" The boys response was"Forks and knives" The police said" why did you do it?" The boy said " he stole my lollypop!" The police said " I will have to bring you downtown myself!" The boy said" Bring it on fat boy" Then the police said" I am putting you in the electric chair" The boy said" plug it in, plug it in!"