Plural Jokes / Recent Jokes

We`ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;
But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn`t the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn`t the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

There is neither egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger There is neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren `t sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, Boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don `t fing, grocers don `t groce, and hammers don `t ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn `t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese, so, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?
If teachers taught, why didn `t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital? Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet more...

Northerners visiting the South Information for Northerners Visiting the Southern States

If you are from the northern states and planning on visiting or moving to the south, there are a few things you should know that will help you adapt to the difference in life styles:

1. If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel-drive pickup truck with a 12-pack of beer and a towchain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

2. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store. Do not buy food at this store.

3. Remember: "Y'all" is singular, "All y'all" is plural, and "All y'alls'" is plural possessive.

4. Get used to hearing "You ain't from around here, are ya?"

5. You may hear a Southerner say "Oughta!" to a dog or child. This is short for "Y'all oughta not do more...

1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.

2. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.

3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four-wheel drive with a 12 pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

4. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.

5. Remember: "Y'alL" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.

6. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"

7. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.

8. Northerners can be identified by the spit on the inside of their car's windshields, which comes from yelling at other more...

Northerners visiting the South Information for Northerners Visiting the Southern StatesIf you are from the northern states and planning on visiting or moving to the south, there are a few things you should know that will help you adapt to the difference in life styles: 1. If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel-drive pickup truck with a 12-pack of beer and a towchain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for. 2. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store. Do not buy food at this store. 3. Remember: "Y'all" is singular, "All y'all" is plural, and "All y'alls'" is plural possessive. 4. Get used to hearing "You ain't from around here, are ya?"5. You may hear a Southerner say "Oughta!" to a dog or child. This is short for "Y'all oughta not do that!" and is the equivalent of saying "No!"6. Don't be worried more...

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find
that: - quicksand can work slowly - boxing rings are square - and a guinea
pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers
write, but fingers don't fing... - grocers don't groce,- and hammers
don't ham?

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor
pine in pineapple.

English muffins were not invented in England, nor French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies... while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

If the plural of tooth is teeth... - why isn't the plural of booth beeth?


One goose, 2 geese; so, one moose, 2. .. meese?

One index, two indices?

Is cheese the plural of choose?

If it is he, his and him - Shouldn't it be she, shis and shim?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, more...

If progress is technology moving forward, then what is congress?

Why do we go under over-passes and over under-passes?

What if C-A-T really spelled DOG?

How do "Keep off the grass" signs get where they are?

If the plural of "mouse" is "mice, shouldn't the plural of "house" be "hice"?

What happens to the holes when all the cheese has been eaten?

If you put orange juice in the freezer it becomes frozen, then why when you squeeze an orange doesn't it become squozen?

Why is there only one Monopolies commission?

Why do ballet dancers always dance on their toes? Wouldn't it be easier to just hire taller dancers?

Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?