Poetry Jokes / Recent Jokes
The National Poetry Contest had come down to the last two, a Yale graduate and a redneck from Texas. They were given a word, then they were allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word that they were given was "Timbuktu."
First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:
Slowly across the desert sand,
Trekked a lonely caravan;
Men on camels, two by two,
Destination Timbuktu.
The crowd went crazy! No way could the redneck top that, they thought. The redneck calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:
Me and Tim a huntin' went,
Met three whores in a pop up tent.
They was three, and we was two,
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.
The redneck won hands down!
When a customer comes into the shop, be very polite to them and try to put a little poetry into it when you're talking to them.The youth says that he does not see what the pharmacist means by this, so the pharmacist says that he should observe when the next customer comes in and watch how he or she is dealt with.Presently a middle aged woman comes in to the shop and asks for something for a tummy bug.The pharmacist says, "There's a lot of that virus going about, but this pink mixture should sort you out!""Oh thank you very much!" says the middle aged woman and she leaves the shop.So the pharmacist says the youth can serve the next customer while he goes to tea break, "And remember to put some poetry into it" he says.Anyway, the youth waits around and nobody comes in, so he decides to go to the restroom. Just as he's about to nip off, a young teenage girl comes in."Can I help you?" he asks. She replies very embarrassedly that she would like to more...
"When a customer comes into the shop, be very polite to them and try to put a little poetry into it when you're talking to them."
The youth says that he does not see what the pharmacist means by this, so the pharmacist says that he should observe when the next customer comes in and watch how he or she is dealt with.
Presently a middle aged woman comes in to the shop and asks for something for a tummy bug.
The pharmacist says, "There's a lot of that virus going about, but this pink mixture should sort you out!"
"Oh thank you very much!" says the middle aged woman and she leaves the shop.
So the pharmacist says the youth can serve the next customer while he goes to tea break, "And remember to put some poetry into it" he says.
Anyway, the youth waits around and nobody comes in, so he decides to go to the restroom. Just as he's about to nip off, a young teenage girl comes in.
"Can I help you?" he asks. more...
Most Romantic/Passionate/Sweet Things
To Do For Your Girlfriend/Boyfriend
(101 steps to having a good relationship)
Watch the sunset together.
Take showers together.
Back rubs/massages.
Listen to classical music and cuddle in the dark or w/ blacklight.
French Kiss.
Hold her w/ hands inside the back of her shirt.
Whisper to each other.
Cook for each other.
Skinny dip.
Make out in the rain.
Dress each other.
Undress each other.
Kiss every part of their body.
Hold hands.
Sleep together. (Actually sleep with each other: not sex)
One word: Foreplay
Sit and talk in just underwear.
Buy gifts for each other.
Roses.
Find out their favorite cologne/perfume and wear it every time you're together.
Wear his clothes.
Find a nice secluded place to lie and watch the stars.
Incense/candles/oils/blacklights and music make for great cuddling/sex.
Kiss at every chance you get.
Don't wear underwear more...
The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a Duke University Law School graduate from an upper crust family; well-bred, well-connected, and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a redneck from Southeast Alabama A&M.
The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less, and the poem had to contain the word "Timbuktu".
The Duke graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started he jumped up and recited the following poem:
Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked the dusty caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination-Timbuktu.
The audience went wild!!! How, they wondered, could the redneck top that?! The clock started again and the redneck sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped and recited:
Tim and me, a-huntin' went.
Met three whores in a pop-up tent.
They was three, we was two,
So I bucked one more...
The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a Duke University Law School graduate from an upper crust family; well-bred, well-connected, and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a redneck from Southeast Alabama A&M.The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less, and the poem had to contain the word "Timbuktu".The Duke graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started he jumped up and recited the following poem:Slowly across the desert sandTrekked the dusty caravan.Men on camels, two by twoDestination-Timbuktu.The audience went wild!!! How, they wondered, could the redneck top that?! The clock started again and the redneck sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped and recited:Tim and me, a-huntin' went.Met three whores in a pop-up tent.They was three, we was two, So I bucked one and Timbuktu.