Aged Jokes

Physics Puzzle... Nice one - try to crack it. ....
Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers. One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years, tried to board the bus, but he didn't stop the bus.
Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came under the bus and died on the spot. Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station, who in turn took him to the court.
The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital punishment. He was taken to the electrocution chamber. There was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. But to everyone's amazement, he survived.
The judge decided to set him free, and the conductor returned to his profession. After a few months, this time, a good looking middle aged woman tried to board the bus but the conductor didn't stop the bus. Unfortunately, this time more...

Two young brothers, aged 5 and 6, are listening through the keyhole as their older sister is getting it on with her new boyfriend.They hear her say, "Oh, Jim, you're going where no man has gone before!"The six-year-old says to his brother, "He must be fucking her up the ass!"

There once was an old man aged 50, who had a lazy son aged 30. The son couldn't earn his own living, and still depended on his old father for food and clothing. The old man was very worried about him, so he took him to the fortune teller to have his fortune told. The father and son both belie the fortune teller's prediction that the father would live to 80 and the son to 62. After having found out how long they were going to live the son was very sad. His father comforted him. "Don't be so sad! You are only 30 now, and still have 32 years of good days ahead of you." "I'm not worrying about my own age. It's just your age which causes me great anxiety," the son said. Upon hearing his words, the father was deeply moved, and in tears said, "Don't worry about me so much I've got 30 years ahead of me too." "I'm not worried about your age either," said the son, "I have figured out that you'll die two years earlier than I. So whom will I depend on more...

A middle aged man, about 5 foot 8 inches tall, walks into a Walmartand asks where the pharmacy counter is. He is directed to it. When he reaches it, he asks to see the pharmacist. The pharmacist comes and the man, looking around furtively, asks quietly, "Do you sell Viagra here?"The pharmacist answers firmly, "Yes, sir. We certainly do."The man then asks, "Do you think I could get it over the counter?"The pharmacist thinks for a moment and then says, "Perhaps, if you took five or six pills at once you might."

The aged patient doddered into the doctor's office with a serious complaint."Doc, you've got to do something to lower my sex drive.""Come on now Mr Peters," the doctor said, "your sex drives all in your head.""Thats what I mean, you've got to lower it a little."