Point Jokes / Recent Jokes

I thought it would be a nice idea to bring a date to my parents' house on Christmas Eve. I felt it would be interesting for a non-Italian girl to see how an Italian family spends the holidays. I truly thought my mother and my date would hit it off like partridges and pear trees.
Boy, was I wrong. Sue me!
I had only known Linda for three weeks when I extended the invitation. "I realize these family things can be a little weird," I told her, "but my folks are great, and we always have a lot of fun on Christmas Eve."
"Sounds fine to me," Linda said.
I had only known my mother for 30 years when I told her I'd be bringing Linda with me. "She's a very nice girl and she's really looking forward to meeting all of you."
"Sounds fine to me," my mother said.
And that was that. Two telephone calls. Two sounds-fine-to-me's. What more could I want?
I should probably point out that in Italian households, Christmas Eve is more...

Mr.Watt rang the phone at the residence of Mr.Knott.
"Who's calling?" asked Knott.
"Watt."
"What is your name, please?"
"Watt's my name."
"That's what I asked you. What's your name?"
"That's what I told you. Watt's my name."
A long pause, and then from Watt, "Is this James Brown?"
"No, this is Knott."
"Please tell me your name."
"Will Knott."
YOU LEFT THE TALKERS AT A POINT WHERE THEY WERE TOTALLY CONFUSED.
READ THE REST OF WHAT HAPPENED...
"Why not?"
"Huh? What do you mean why not?"
"Yeah! Why won't you tell me your name?"
"But I told you my name!"
"Didn't you say you will not?"
"Not not, knott, Will Knott!"
"That's what I mean."
"So you know my name."
"Of course not!"
"Good. So now, what is more...

1. When people point at their wrist when asking for the time. I know where my fucking watch is, where yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the fucking bathroom is? No!
2. When you go to a movie and someone says"
Did you see that"
? No I paid five dollars to come to the theater and stare at the fucking floor.
3. When I am waiting for a bus and someone asks me if the bus came yet. My reply is "
Yeah, but ya know, I just decided to wait around for the next one you freakin knobhead."
4. When people say it's always the last place you look. Of course it is. Why the fuck would I keep looking if I already found it?
5. When people say life is short. What the fuck? Life is the longest fucking thing anyone ever does.
6. When people spend more time and energy looking for the damn TV remote rather than just getting up off their lazy asses and changing the channel manually. Why do people do this?

1. When people point at their wrist when asking for the time. I know where my fucking watch is, where yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the fucking bathroom is? No!
2. When you go to a movie and someone saysdid you see that? No I paid five dollars to come to the theater and stare at the fucking floor.
3. When I am waiting for a bus and someone asks me if the bus came yet. My reply is Yeah, but ya know, I just decided to wait around for the next one you freakin knobhead.
4. When people say it's always the last place you look. Of course it is. Why the fuck would I keep looking if I already found it?
5. When people say life is short. What the fuck? Life is the longest fucking thing anyone ever does.
6. When people spend more time and energy looking for the damn TV remote rather than just getting up off their lazy asses and changing the channel manually. Why do people do this?
Written by Brian Carter

Here are a few things to think about that you probably have never thought about.
1) Can you cry under water?
2) How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
3) What disease did cured ham actually have?
4) How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
5) Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
6) Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
7) Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
8) Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
9) If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, then why is there a stupid song about him?
10) If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
11) Why do people point to their wrist when more...

Here are a few things to think about that you probably have never thought about;
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on more...

Revision codes
Once you start playing with software you quickly become aware that each software package has a revision code attached to it. It is obvious that this revision code gives the sequence of changes to the product, but in reality there’s substantially more information available through the rev-code than that. This article provides a guide for interpreting the meaning of the revision codes and what they actually signify.
1. 0: Also known as “one point uh-oh”, or”barely out of beta”. We had to release because the lab guys had reached a point of exhaustion and the marketing guys were in a cold sweat of terror. We’re praying that you’ll find it more functional than, say, a computer virus and that its operation has some resemblance to that specified in the marketing copy.
1. 1: We fixed all the killer bugs …
1. 2: Uh, we introduced a few new bugs fixing the killer bugs and so we had to fix them, too.
2. 0: We did the product we really more...