Point Jokes / Recent Jokes

Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.

Q: How do you call the largest accumulation point of poles?
A: Warsaw!

A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him to quit; she gets two shot glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey.
After getting him to the table that had the glasses, she brings his bait box. She says "I want you to see this." She puts a worm in the water it, and it swims around.
She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, "what do you have to say about this experiment?"
He responds by saying: "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"

A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him to quit; she gets two shot glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey.After getting him to the table that had the glasses, she brings his bait box. She says "I want you to see this." She puts a worm in the water it, and it swims around.She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, "what do you have to say about this experiment?"He responds by saying: "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"

DEMERIT POINT SYSTEM USED BY WOMEN
(The code is finally broken - the demerit system is no longer a mystery!) For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is: In the world of romance and relationship responsibilities, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes & you get points. Do something she dislikes & points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects... Sorry, but that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system.
SIMPLE DUTIES You make the bed... 1 You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows... 0 You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets... -1 You leave the toilet seat up... -5 You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty... 0 When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex... -1 When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom.-2 You check out a suspicious noise at night... 0 You check out a suspicious noise and it's more...

DEMERIT POINT SYSTEM USED BY WOMEN(The code is finally broken - the demerit system is no longer a mystery!) For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is: In the world of romance and relationship responsibilities, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes & you get points. Do something she dislikes & points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects... Sorry, but that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system.SIMPLE DUTIES You make the bed... 1 You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows... 0 You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets... -1 You leave the toilet seat up... -5 You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty... 0 When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex... -1 When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom.-2 You check out a suspicious noise at night... 0 You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing... 0 You more...

A man is in court. The Judges says,"on the 3rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?" "Guilty", said the man in the dock. At this point a man at the back of the court stood up and shouted "You dirty rat!" The Judge asked the man to site down and to refrain from making any noise. The Judge continued "..... and that also on the 17th September you are accused of killing your son by beating him to death with a hammer, how do you plead"?" Guilty", said the man in the dock. Again the same man at the back stood up and shouted even louder, "You dirty rotten stinking rat"!! At this point the Judge called the man to the bench and said, "I have already asked you to be quiet, if you continue with these outbursts, I will have to charge you with contempt of court. I can understand your feelings, but what relationship have you to this man?" He replied "He is my more...