Poker Jokes / Recent Jokes
Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five complete theirplaying time standing up.Roberts looks around and asks, "Now, who is going to tell the wife?" They draw straws. Rippington, who is always a loser, picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse than it is."Gentlemen! Discreet? I'm the most discreet man you will ever meet. Discretion is my middle name, leave it to me." Rippington walks over to the Smith house, knocks on the door, the wife answers, asks what he wants.Rippington says, "Your husband just lost $500 playing cards."She hollers, "TELL HIM TO DROP DEAD!"Rippington says, "I'll tell him."
Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect fortheir fallen comrade, the other five complete their playing timestanding up. Roberts looks around and asks, "Now, who is going to tell the wife?" They draw straws. Rippington, who is always a loser, picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse than it is. "Gentlemen! Discreet? I'm the most discreet man you will ever meet. Discretion is my middle name, leave it to me." Rippington walks over to the Smith house and knocks on the door.The wife answers and asks what he wants. Rippington says, "Your husband just lost $500 playing cards." She hollers, "TELL HIM TO DROP DEAD!" Rippington says, "I'll tell him."
Six Jewish gentlemen were playing poker in the Condo clubhouse when Meyerowitz loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table.
Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five complete their playing time standing up.
Finkelstein looks around and asks "Now, who is going to tell the wife?"
They draw straws. Goldberg, who is always a loser picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse than it is.
"Gentlemen! Discreet? I'm the most discreet mensch you will ever meet. Discretion is my middle name, leave it to me."
Goldberg schleps over to the Meyerowitz apartment, knocks on the door, the wife answers, asks what he wants.
Goldberg declares "Your husband just lost $500, and is afraid to come home."
She hollers, "TELL HIM HE SHOULD DROP DEAD!"
Goldberg says, "I'll tell him."
Why don't cats play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
Little Johnny had become a real nuisance while his father tried to concentrate on his Saturday afternoon poker game with friends and relatives. The father tried every way possible to get Johnny to occupy himself...television, ice cream, homework, video games...but the youngster insisted on running back and forth behind the players and calling out the cards they held. The other players became so annoyed that they threatened to quit the game and all go home. At this point, the boy's uncle stood up, took Johnny by the hand, and led him out of the room. The uncle soon returned back to the poker table without Johnny and without comment, the game resumed. For the rest of the afternoon, little Johnny was nowhere to be seen and the cardplayers continued without any further interruptions. After the poker game ended, the father asked Johnny's uncle, "What in the world did you do to Johnny? I haven't heard a peep from him all day!" "Not much," the boy's uncle replied. "I more...
When the phone rang, she excused herself from the sofa. A few seconds later she rejoined her male companion.
"Who was it?" he asked.
"My husband," she replied.
"I better get going," he said. "Where was he?"
"Relax. He'll be late, he's playing poker with you."
She left him on the sofa when the phone rang, and was back in a few seconds. "Who was it?" he asked.
"My husband," she replied.
"I better get going," he said. "Where was he?"
"Relax. He's downtown playing poker with you."