Pole Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Polak was suffering from constipation, so his doctor prescribed suppositiories. A week later the Pole complained to the doctor that they didn't produce the desired results."Have you been taking them regulary?" the doctor asked."What do you think I've been doing," the Pole said, "Shoving them up my ass?"

Hear about the Pole who couldn't spell?
He spent the night in a wherehouse.

The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest possible word.
Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I dont have.
The other collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.
I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.
I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprung up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the more...

there once was a sales clerk named John, while at work his boss asked him to make a dilivery. Hey having the othmost respect for his boss accepted the job and set of
while driving about half way there his car tire blew out. having no spare he walked to the nearest auto shop and bought one. once he returned he discovered that his car was gone. onlyn the flat tire was left he thought to himself and said (things cant get any worse) he started walkinng. while walking a man in a car stopped and offered him a ride. he gleefully accepted.
while driving the car skidded off the road and crashed, the gas from the tank was leaking and was ignighted by a spark and it blew up tearing off most of Johns clothes, and killing the driver. walking alone on this lonel road, with only peices of clothes and his wallet, he thought to himself (things cant get any worse) then it started to rain and he said once again (things cant get any worse) then he was struck by a bolt of lightening. after more...

A Pole and a Russian find a suitcase full of money. "Ah!" says
the Russian, "we will of course divide the money between us, like good
socialist brothers."
"No way", says the Pole. "Fifty-fifty."

A Pole, an Italian, and a Jew, all first-time fathers, are pacing nervously in the maternity ward waiting room when a nurse rushes out of the delivery room holding a black baby.
"Is it yours?" she asks the Italian.
"Certainly not," he retorts.
"Yours?" she asks the Pole, who vigorously denies paternity.
"How about you?" she asks the Jew.
"Maybe," he says glumly. "My wife burns everything."

BREAKING NEWS: BUSH SEEKS TO ENJOIN SANTA FROM CHECKING LIST TWICE
Lack of Standards Decried
Austin, TX (Dec. 13)-Attorneys for President-Elect George W. Bush filed suit in federal court today, seeking to prevent Santa Claus from making his list and then checking it twice. The complaint seeks an immediate injunction against the beloved Christmas icon, asking the court to effectively ban his traditional practice of checking the list of good boys and girls one additional time before packing his sleigh.
The suit filed in Federal District Court in Austin, asks a federal judge to "hereby order Mr. Claus to cease and desist all repetitive and duplicative list-checking activity, and certify the original list as submitted without amendment, alteration, deletion, or other unnecessary modification."
"There are no standards for deciding who is naughty, and who is nice. It's totally arbitrary and capricious. How many more times does he need to check? This checking, more...