Politician Jokes / Recent Jokes

An Indian politician returned home after his first visit to England. Pressmen surrounded him and asked him what it was that he had been impressed with most about the English people.
"They are a very gifted race," replied the politician. "Even a two-year-old child can speak English."

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change! JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road. SARAH PALIN: You betcha he crossed the road, but let’s not talk about that, let’s talk about energy policy, and how gosh darn hard it is for a middle-class hockey mom to manage the budget of the only state in America with a massive surplus, especially while surrounded by countless Russian and Canadian chickens we have to keep an eye on. HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure - right from Day One! - that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me. GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We more...

I want to become a politician when I grow up so Ive made a list of skills I want to aquire, butIve only come up with one: Lying.

Q. What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a dishonest lawyer?

A. Chelsea!

While delivering the speech, a politician said:' Bhaiyo I was born for you and I will die for you.'

From the audience came a voice:' When?'

I want to become a politician when I grow up so I've made a list of skills I want to aquire, but I've only come up with one: Lying.

Quaylisms "Quaylisms" "I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people." -- J. Danforth Quayle "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." -- J. Danforth Quayle "Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child." -- Vice President Dan Quayle "Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts." -- Vice President Dan Quayle "Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe." -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 8/11/89 "What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is." -- Vice President Dan Quayle more...