Politics Jokes / Recent Jokes

Both Clinton and the Pope die, but there is a mix up. Clinton went to heaven and the Pope gets sent to hell.
The Pope explains the situation to the hell administration, they check their paperwork, and the error is acknowledged. They explain, however, that it will take about 24 hours to process the paperwork and make the switch.
The next day, the Pope is called in and the hell administration bids him farewell and he heads for heaven. On the way up, he meets Clinton on the way down, and they stop to chat.
Pope: Sorry about the mix up.
Clinton: No problem.
Pope: I'm really excited about going to heaven.
Clinton: Why's that?
Pope: All my life I've wanted to meet the Virgin Mary.
Clinton: You're a day late.

The Australian liberal party announced today that they arechanging their emblem to a condombecause it more clearly reflects their party'spolitical stance :A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, discourages co-operation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives one a sense of security whilescrewing others.

While visiting the United States, the Pope met with President Clinton. Rather than just an hour as scheduled, the meeting lasted for two days. Finally, a weary President Clinton emerged to meet with the media.
Smiling, he announced that the summit was a great success. He said he and the Pope agreed on 80% of the matters they discussed and that he was now going home to the White House to be with his family.
The Pope then came out to make his statement. He appeared tired, very discouraged and close to tears. Sadly, he announced his meeting with the President was a failure. Confused, one reported asked, "But, your Holiness, the President just announced the summit was quite a success and the two of you agreed on 80% of the items discussed."
Frustrated, the Pope replied, "Yes, but we were discussing the Ten Commandments!"

One day, Bill Clinton, Rush Limbaugh and Al Gore decided to walk to the Wizard of Oz's castle in Emerald City. When they got there, the Wizard asked them what they wanted the most. Limbaugh asked for a heart, Gore asked for a brain, and Clinton asked for Dorothy.

This occurred to me while I was watching all the channels coverage of the September 11th terrorism and the followups. Here's a summary of how the various networks covered the event:
CNN: Should America retaliate? On Crossfire tonight, Colin Powell debates Osama Ben Laden.
ABC: Should America retaliate? Tonight, Barbara Walters interviews Tom Cruise.
MSNBC: MSNBC has learned that the Empire State Building is once again the tallest building in New York!
(from rec.humor.funny)
Newsflash! This just in:
The IRA has reportedly hijacked the Goodyear blimp. They have bounced it into Big Ben five times already.

What advice did Yasar Arafat give President Clinton in their meeting
on January 22, 1998?
"Bill... Goats don't talk!!"

Did you hear the latest theory about Monica Lewinsky?
It may never be proven but they think she may be the youngest woman to have
ever held the Presidency.