Politics Jokes / Recent Jokes

George W. Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?"
The barman says, "Yep, that's them."
So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?"
Bush says, "We're planning World War III".
And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis and one intelligent blonde."
The guy exclaimed, "Intelligent blonde! Why kill a blonde?"
Bush turns to Powell, punches him on the shoulder and says, "See, smart ass? I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!"

President Clinton, speaking in private with his advisor on public favor, told him that the planned invasion of Haiti will be the most unpopular thing that he has ever done as the President of the United States.
"Actually, sir, according to our research, the most unpopular thing you've ever done was to be inaugurated as President. It's just been downhill from there."

Finally, Serbian hackers hacked the navigation systems of "Tomahawk" missiles - now they're called "Boomerang."

Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and the Green Bay Packers have in common?
A: They both BLEW the BIG one.

A Republican, a Libertarian, and a Democrat are seated separately in a restaurant when a poor man walks in; unbeknownst to any of them, it is Jesus.

The Republican summons the waiter and asks him to serve the poor man the best food in the house and put it on his tab; the waiter does so. The Libertarian asks the waiter to please serve the poor man iced tea and to put it on his tab. The waiter does so. The Democrat then asks the waiter to bring the poor man pecan pie with ice cream and to put it on his tab.

When Jesus is finished eating, He goes over to the Republican and says, "I was hungry and you gave Me something to eat. Thank you. I see you are blind." and He touches the man's eye, and it is healed.

Jesus then goes over to the Libertarian and says, "I was thirsty and you gave Me something to drink. Thank you. I see you have a bad arm." and He touches the man's arm, and it is healed.

Then Jesus walks over to the more...

The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. this Christmas. This isn't for any religious constitutional reason.
They simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the Nation's capitol.
There was, however, no problem finding enough asses to fill the stable.

AP - Monica Lewinsky, in a statement released today, countered President Clinton's firm denial:
"I have had enough. This whole experience has left a bitter taste in my mouth, and I can't stomach any more. I feel as if I am getting the shaft, that this ugly matter has come to a head and blown up in my face."
"This may be a load to handle, but when things are hard, that is when I am at my best. I have faced hard things in the past, and I know what is coming. I will meet this challenge the only way that I know how: head on."
"I have licked bigger things than this before, and I will again. No one will ever be able to say that Monica Lewinsky isn't a finisher, that she quit before the job was done. I will work non-stop and fight this, blow by blow, until I am wiped clean of this dirty affair. I will not be stained by it."
"Thank you." Monica Lewinsky