Pollution Jokes / Recent Jokes

Yes, I'm tired. For several years, I've been blaming it on middle age, iron
poor blood, lack of vitamins, air pollution, water pollution, saccharin,
obesity, dieting, and a dozen other maladies that make you wonder if life
is really worth living.
But now I found out, it ain't that.
I'm tired because I'm overworked.
The population of this country is 200 Million. 84 Million are retired. That
leaves 116 Million to do the work. There are 75 Million in school, which
leaves 41 Million to do the work. Of this total, there are 22 Million
employed by the government. That leaves 19 Million to do the work.
Four Million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 15 Million to do the
work. Take from that the 14, 800, 000 people who work for State and City
Government and that leaves 200, 000 to do the work. There are 188, 000 in
hospitals, so that leaves 12, 000 to do the work.
Now, there are 11, 998 people in prisons. That leaves more...

Plane travel needs to be updated for the 21st century. I think we’ll all agree, it’s a terrific form of transportation and is very necessary. I mean, if you couldn’t travel by plane, there’d be less noise pollution, air pollution, terrorist threats, and war options- but how would ARod ever leave New York? We must make plane travel work! Here are some suggestions:
#1 – The terrorism thing.
I love profiling at the airport. You’re wearing a turban, sorry lady, you’re a suspect. Until then, Whites, Blacks, Jews, Asians, and even people named Lloyd (I hate that name but he gets a pass here), don’t have to take their shoes off and get to keep the dreaded nail clipper. Create a national database of people based on their passport/picture/IDs. Oh yeah, we have computers in the U.S. Maybe we should use them.
#2 – Fat people need their own airline.
If you’re offended, do you know why? Because you never have to sit next to you! I just got back from Tennessee. more...

Indian History: Supposedly written by a schoolboy with all original spellings:
The original inhabitants of ancient India were called Adidases, who lived in two cities called Hariappa and Mujhe-na-Daro. These cities had the best drain system in the world and so there was no brain drain from them Ancient India was full of myths which have been handed down from son to father. A myth is a female moth. A collection of myths is called mythology, which means stories with female caricatures. One myth says that people in olden times worshipped monkeys because they were our incestors.
In olden times there were two big families in India. One was called the Pandava and the other was called the Karova. They fought amongst themselves in a battle called Mahabharat, after which India came to be known as MeraBharat Mahan.
In midevil times India was ruled by the Slave Dienasty. So named because they all died a nasty death. Then came the Tughlaqs who shifted their capital from Delhi more...

ATTENTION: All citizens of Arkansas planning a trip to Washington, D. C. to visit Willy Jeff1. Before leaving for Washington, clean red mud from windshields and remove hog and chicken feed from pick-up bed. 2. Any cardboard box can be made to look like a suitcase if brown shoe polish is smoothly applied. Boxes must have tops, but no ropes. When a few miles out of Arkansas, remove overalls and brogans and putt them into your box. Change to Sunday suit, clean shirt and good shoes (wear socks). 3. Limit occupancy of your car or pickup to a reasonable number of riders. It looks country to overload a vehicle. 4. Those going on their tractors should leave three weeks early. Remember to drive on the right side of the road at all times, except when passing an older tractor or a buddy in a wagon. 5. En route always buy a full tank of gas. A dollar's worth at a time requires too many gas stops. 6. On arrival in Washington, immediately get settled in a tourist or boarding house. If they don't more...

In the beginning, God created Heaven and Earth...
He was then faced with a class action lawsuit for failing to file an
environmental impact statement from HEPA (Heavenly Environmental
Protection Agency), an angelically staffed agency dedicated to keeping
the universe pollution free.
God was granted a temporary permit for the heavenly portion of the
project, but was issued a cease and desist order on the Earthly
portion of the project, pending further investigation by HEPA. Upon
completion of His construction permit and environmental impact
statement, God appeared before HEPA council to answer some questions.
When asked why He began these projects in the first place, He simply
replied that He liked to be creative. This was not considered an
adequate reason and He was required to substantiate this further.
HEPA was unable to see any practical use for Earth anyway, since "The
Earth was void and empty and darkness was on the more...