Poof Jokes / Recent Jokes
A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him the beer and says, "You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! I have a question though, why is your head so small?" The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times." One day," he begins, "I was hunting when I got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help and finally realized that it was coming from a frog sitting next to a stream." So I picked up the frog and it said, "Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you 3 wishes." So I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss. POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman. She said, "You now have 3 wishes." I looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said, "I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenneger." She nodded, whispered a spell, and POOF! there I was, so huge more...
A guy with a huge orange head goes in to see a doctor. The doctor says, “How did you get such a huge orange head? ” The guy says, “Well, one day I was walking down the beach when I tripped over an old lantern. A genie came out and said, ’ I’ll grant you three wishes, whatever you desire… what is your first wish? ’ I said, ’ I’d like all the money I could ever spend. ’ The genie went Poof!, and there it was, all the money I could ever spend.
Then he said, ’ what is your second wish? ’ I said, ’ I’d like a beautiful woman to love me, someone I could enjoy this money with. ’ The genie went Poof!, and there she was, a gorgeous girl who immediately loved me. “Then the genie said, ’and what is your third wish? ’… and I think this is where I went wrong… I said, I’d like a huge orange head. ”
A lead hardware engineer, a lead software engineer, and their program manager are taking a walk outdoors during their lunch break when they come upon an old brass lamp. They pick it up and dust it off. Poof - out pops a genie."Thank you for releasing me from my lamp-prison. I can grant you 3 wishes. Since there are 3 of you I will grant one wish to each of you."The hardware engineer thinks a moment and says, "I'd like to be sailing a yacht across the Pacific, racing before the wind, with an all-girl crew.""It is done", said the Genie, and poof, the hardware engineer disappears.The software engineer thinks a moment and says, "I'd like to be riding my Harley with a gang of beautiful women throughout the American Southwest.""It is done", said the Genie, and poof, the software engineer disappears.The program manager looks at where the other two had been standing and rubs his chin in thought. Then he tells the Genie, "I'd like those more...
Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large, raging violent river. Needing to get on the other side, the first man prayed, "God, please give me the strength to cross the river."
Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.
After witnessing that, the second man prayed, "God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river."
Poof! God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.
Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed, "God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross the river."
Poof! He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge.
A married couple, both 60 years old, were celebrating
their 35th anniversary. During their party, a fairy
appeared to congratulate them and grant them
each one wish.
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy
waved her wand and poof - the wife had tickets in her
hand for a world cruise.
Next, the fairy asked the husband what he wanted.
He said; "I wish I had a wife 30 years younger
than me."
So the the fairy picked up her wand and poof -
the husband was 90.
A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him the beer and says, "You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! I have a question though, why is your head so small?"
The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times.
"One day," he begins, "I was hunting when I got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help and finally realized that it was coming from a frog sitting next to a stream."
So I picked up the frog and it said, "Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you 3 wishes."
So I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss. POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman.
She said, "You now have 3 wishes."
I looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said, "I want a body like Arnold more...
A BLONDE, BRUNETTE, AND A RED HEAD..WERE STANDED ON A DESSERTED ISLAND...THEY WERE WALKING AND WALKING AND WALKING AND SO ON... THE RED HEAD FINDS A BOTTLE AND THERE WAS AN INSCRIPTION ON IT BUT IT WAS COVERED IN SAND SO SHE RUBS IT OFF ALL OF A SUDDEN A SUDDEN MIST OF SMOKE COMES OUT FOLLOWED BY A GENIE..."WOW" THE RED HEAD EXCLAIMS...THE GENIE SAYS,"NOW NORMALLY I WOULD GRANT THE PERSON THAT LET ME OUT OF THAT GOD FORSAKEN BOTTLE 3 WISHES, BUT SINCE THERE ARE 3 OF YOU IT WOULD ONLY BE FARE IF I GRANTED EACH OF YOU A WISH" THE 3 GIRLS AGREED SO THE GEENIE ASKED THE RED HEAD WHAT IS YOUR WISH? THE RED HEAD REPLIES "I WISH I WAS AT HOME WITH MY FAMILY" POOF! SHE WAS HOME..SO THE GEENIE ASKS THE BRUNETTE WHAT IS YOUR WISH? I WISH I WAS AT HOME WITH MY FAMILY..POOF! SHE WAS HOME..THE GEENIE THEN TURNS TO THE BLONDE AND ASKS WHAT HER WISH IS? SHE RELPLIES.."I AM NOW ALL ALONE,"SO WHAT IS YOUR WISH THE GEENIE ASKS?," I WISH MY FRIENDS WERE BACK! more...