Poof Jokes / Recent Jokes

There were 2 blondes and a brunette.
The first blonde said "I want to be smart." POOF! She was a brunette.
The other one said the same thing.POOF! She was a Brunette too!
The Brunette said "I want to be dumb!" POOF! She was a man!

There are three men stranded on a deserted island (hmm sounds familiar).
One is Italian, one is Irish and the other Polish. They have been on the Island for close to six months and have developed a great rapport with one another and become the best of friends.
One day they are searching the shore for a sign of passing boats when they come across a bottle. When the Italian rubs the bottle a genie comes out (can you believe it!). The genie thanks the three men and says "I will grant you three wishes, but it can only be one wish each and I am so tired of being in the bottle for so long it might take a couple of weeks between wishes".
So the Italian says "I wish I was back in Rome eating a big plate of antipasto"
POOF!!! he is back in Rome like he wished. A couple of weeks later the Genie says ok, to the Irishman, "What is your wish"
The Irishman replies, I wish I was back in Dublin at Mac Murphy's pub with a pint of lager. POOF!!! He more...

That’s the way to do it
One day, three men were hiking and unexpectedly came upon a large raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do so.
The first man prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength to cross this river." Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours, but only after almost drowning a couple of times.
Seeing this, the second man prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength. .. and the tools to cross this river." Poof! God gave him a rowboat and he was able to row across the river in about an hour, but only after almost capsizing the boat a couple of times.
The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two, so he also prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength and the tools...and the intelligence... to cross this river." And poof! God turned him into a woman. She looked more...

An old woman saved a Fairy’s life. To repay this, the Fairy promised to grant the old woman three wishes.
For the first wish, the old lady asked to become young and beautiful. Poof! She became young and beautiful.
For the second wish, the old lady asked to be richest woman in the world. “Poof! She was the richest woman in the world.
For the last wish, she pointed at the cat she had kept for years. She asked that he be turned into the most handsome man on earth. After all, he had been her best friend for so many years. Poof! The Fairy turned the cat into the most handsome man on earth.
The old lady and the Fairy said their goodbyes.
After the Fairy left, the handsome man (old cat) strolled over to her and asked, “Now aren’t you sorry you had me neutered?!!! ”

There were 3 blondes who found a jeanie. He granted each of them a wish. The first wished she was 50% smarter - poof she's a BRUNETTE, the second wished she was 25% smarter - poof she's a REDHEAD, the third wished she was 50% dumber - poof she's a BLOND MAN.

Santa went for his annual physical check up. All of his tests came back with normal results.
His Dr. said, "Santa, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?"
Santa replied, "God and me are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! the light goes on when I pee, and then poof! the light goes off when I'm done."
"Wow," commented Dr., "That's incredible!"
A little later in the day Dr. called Jeeto, Santa's wife and says, "Santa is just fine. Physically he's great. But I had to call because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! the light goes on in the bathroom and then poof! the light goes off?"
Jeeto exclaimed, "Oh God !! He's peeing in the more...

A man is walking down the beach and comes across an old bottle. He picks it up, pulls out the cork and out pops a genie.
The genie says, "Thank you for freeing me from the bottle. In return I will grant you three wishes."
The man says "Great! I always dreamed of this and I know exactly what I want. First, I want one billion dollars in a Swiss bank account." Poof! There is a flash of light and a piece of paper with account numbers appears in his hand.
He continues, "Next, I want a brand new red Ferrari right here." Poof! There is a flash of light and a bright red brand-new Ferrari appears right next to him. He continues, "Finally, I want to be irresistible to women." Poof!
There is a flash of light and he turns into a box of chocolates.

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