Poof Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was three guys that were fishing out in the ocean. After a while of not catching anything, one guy yells,"I've got something!" So they all rush over and help pull it in. They pulled for hours until inside the boat was a mermaid.
She plead for them to let her go and when they wouldn't, she said, " I'll grant you each one wish if you let me go.
THe men agreed.
THe first guy said, Make me three times smarter than I already am.Poof, and then he started quoting shakespear perfectly.
The second guy seeing this said make me 10 times smarter. poof and then he figured out math problems that famous mathemations had been pondering for years.
The third guy said, make me 20 times smarter. The mermaid said, sir consider that carefully. He didn't listen to her and said, make me twenty times smarter!
And poof, he turned into a woman.

A government employee found an old brass lamp in a filing cabinet. When he dusted it off, a genie appeared and granted him three wishes.
"I'd love an ice-cold beer right now," he told the genie. Poof! A beer appeared.
Next the man said, "I wish to be on an island, surrounded by beautiful and willing women."
Poof! He was on an island with gorgeous women fawning all over him.
Oh, man this is the life, the guy thought.
"I wish I never had to work again." And poof!...
He was back at his desk in the government office!

A government employee found an old brass lamp in a filing cabinet. When he dusted it off, a genie appeared and granted him three wishes. "I'd love an ice-cold beer right now," he told the genie. Poof! A beer appeared.Next the man said, "I wish to be on an island, surrounded by beautiful and willing women."Poof! He was on an island with gorgeous women fawning all over him.Oh, man this is the life, the guy thought."I wish I never had to work again." And poof!...He was back at his desk in the government office!

There once was a magic Mirror and if you told it a lie you would disappear. So A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blonde tried it out.
The Brunette goes up and says, " I have the best lookin eyes in the world" And POOF. She disappeared.
The Redhead went up and said, " I have the best legs in the world" And POOF. She disappeared.
Finally the Blonde went up and said, " I think..." And POOF. She disappeared.

There once was a magical bridge. A wise man told a blonde, brunette, and a red head that if they ran across it and wished to be any thing it would happen. So the next day all three of them went to the bridge. The red head went first. "I wish I was a dove!" and poof she turned into a dove. Next went the brunette. "I wish I was a dolphin!" and poof she turned into a dolphin. Next came the blonde. She ran as fast as she could and said "I wish I was....she noticed her shoelace was untied and said "CRAP!" and she turned into crap.

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven, where they are met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. He says, "Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I'm granting you six months to go back to Earth and be anyone you want."
The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren" and "poof" she's gone.

The second says, "I want to be Madonna" and "poof" she's gone.

The third says, "I want to be Sarah Pipalini."

St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he asks.

"Sarah Pipalini," replies the nun.

St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry but that name just doesn't ring a bell."

The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing. He
hands it back to her and says,... "No sister, this says' Sahara Pipeline' laid by l, 900 men in 6 months."

One day a government worker was digging through his office drawers when suddenly he came upon a magic lamp. (Oh, c'mon, I'm sure there's one buried in your desk too.) Since he'd heard these jokes before, he knew that he had to rub the lamp and make the genie come out, so he rubbed the lamp and - oh, surprise - out popped a genie.
The genie asked, as genies will, "What is your first wish?" The government worker thought about it for a second, then replied, "I would like to be rich!" So the genie granted him his wish, and - poof - the man was surrounded by piles of money rivaling the heaps of even Martha Stewart and Bill Gates.
Since the government worker knew the whole wish process, the genie didn't even have to ask for number two before he said, "My second wish is to be on an island with beautiful women surrounding me and obeying my every command!" and - poof - he was there.
Then the government worker decided on his third wish; "I don't more...