Poor Jokes / Recent Jokes
Yo Mama’s so poor I walked into her house, asked what was for dinner, so she lit my pockets on fire and said "Hot Pockets."
>> Freddie Bloor
>> --------------
>>
>> Now this is the tale of young Freddie Bloor,
>> whose sexual equipment got jammed in the door.
>> By the time they freed him he didn't feel well
>> for his private parts were mangled to hell.
>>
>> They rushed him to hospital, the ambulance flew
>> but when they arrived there was nowt they could do.
>> What a sad blow for Fred, condemned without choice,
>> to a life with no sex and a high squeaky voice.
>>
>> But lucky for Fred, so he wouldn't feel a fool
>> some bright spark suggested a bionic tool.
>> A bright new electric one made out of brass,
>> though the batteries would have to be kept up his arse.
>>
>> So newly equipped and after a rest,
>> Fred thought he would put his new tool to the test.
>> So finding a woman, the nearest one handy,
>> he piled her with drink and made her feel randy.
>>
>> The girl without waiting, put more...
Three nuns on a train had been getting to know one another and decided to tell each other what their greatest sins were. The first nun says, "My greatest sin is sex. Every year I go out for a week and work as a prostitute. Of course, I put all the money I earn into the poor box."
The second nun says, "My greatest sin is drinking. Every year I take the money from the poor box and go out drinking for a solid week." The third just sits there quietly.
So the first nun says to her, "Come on, we've told you our worst sins. Now you have to tell us yours."
The third nun says, "My greatest sin is that I gossip, and I can't wait to get off this train."
Yo Mama is so poor people rob her house for practice!
ODE TO A MAMMOGRAM
---Author unknown
For years' n years they told me,
be careful of your breasts
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them,
and give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings
and protected them by law
Guarded them very carefully,
and always wore a bra.
After 30 years of careful care,
the doctor found a lump
He ordered up a mammogram
to look inside that clump.
Stand up very close, she said,
as she got my tit in line
And tell me when it hurts, she said,
Ah, yes, there! That's just fine.
She stepped upon a pedal...
I could not believe my eyes
A plastic plate was pressing down...
My boob was in a vice!!!
My skin was stretched' n stretched
from way up by my chin
And my poor tit was being squashed
to swedish pancake thin!!!
Excruciating pain I felt within
it's vice-like grip
A prisoner in this more...
Nhan Le An American GI was fighting in Vietnam. One day he received 2 letters from home, one letter comes from his mom asking for his picture, one letter comes from his girl friend also asking for his picture. He had only 1 picture that he took at a beach standing naked. He didn't know what to do so he decided to cut the picture into two, the top half he sent to his girl friend. The bottom half he sent to his mom because he knew his mom had a poor eyesight, she wouldn't know. When his mom received the bottom half of his naked picture, she sighed: "Poor my little boy! He has no time to shave his beard. He looks like his father, always has a cigar on his mouth."