Population Jokes / Recent Jokes

This is strange... can you figure it out?
Are you the 2% or 98% of the population?
Follow the instructions! NO PEEKING AHEAD!
* Do the following exercise, guaranteed to raise an eyebrow.
* There's no trick or surprise.
* Just follow these instructions, and answer the questions one
at a time and as quickly as you can!
* Again, as quickly as you can but don't advance until
you've done each of them. .. really.
* Now, scroll down (but not too fast, you might miss something>

Think of a number from 1 to 10



Multiply that number by 9



If the number is a 2-digit number, add the digits together



Now subtract 5



Determine which letter in the alphabet corresponds to the
number
you ended up with
(example: 1=a, 2=b, 3=c, etc.)



Think of a country that starts with that letter


Remember the last letter of more...

Very InterestingDraw your own conclusions..Counties won by Gore: 677
Counties won by Bush: 2,434
Population of counties won by Gore: 127 million
Population of counties won by Bush: 143 million
Square miles of country won by Gore: 580,000
Square miles of country won by Bush: 2,427,000States won by Gore: 19
States won by Bush: 29Professor Joseph Olson of the Hamline University School of Law in St.Paul Minnesota has produced another interesting new statistic. Professor
Olson looked up the crime statistics for all of these counties and came up
with this:
Average Murder per 100,000 residents in counties won by Gore: 13.2
Average Murder per 100,000 residents in counties won by Bush: 2.1The logical conclusion-------killers voted for Gore.

A population control program had been introduced to the island, but the doctors were having trouble getting the women to take their birth control pills. They decided, therefore, to concentrate on teaching the men to wear condoms.

One of the men who came in had had eight children in eight years, and the doctor told him that he absolutely had to wear a sheath. He explained that as long as he wore it his woman could not have another baby. About a month later, the wife came in and she was pregnant. The doctor got very angry. He called the man in and gave him a long lecture through an interpreter. He asked the man why he hadn't worn the sheath.

The interpreter said, "He swears he did wear it. He never took it off."

The doctor shook his head. "In that case, ask him how in the heck his wife is pregnant again?"

"He says," said the interpreter, "that after six days he had to pee so badly that he cut the end more...

Original: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer. ..
Translation: Rudolph was a four-hooved ungulate, Original: Had a very shiny nose. ..
Translation: Who, incidentally, possessed a nasal appendage of a maroon lustre. Original: And if you ever saw him. ..
Translation: Consequently, if circumstances were to present themselves that he ever came into your view, Original: You would even say it glows. ..
Translation: You would most undoubtedly remark at to its illuminary qualities. Original: All of the other reindeer. ..
Translation: The multitude of other members of the population in his ecological community, Original: Used to laugh and call him names. ..
Translation: Had previously teased, chuckled boisterously, and dubbed him unspeakable pseudonyms - the objective of which was to lower his self-esteem and make him miserable. Original: They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games. ..
Translation: They also excluded him from participation in leisure more...

THE following ode is applicable to the large population of India:
Beemar aap hain, beemar hain ham,
Beemar saara zamaana; Chor aur police rnein farq sirf itna
Ek vardi mein hain, doosra bina vardee. Barhti huee aabaadee ne kee yeh barbaadee. (You are sick, I am sick, the entire world is sick; the only difference between a policeman and a thief is that one is in uniform, the other has none. It is our increasing population that has brought this ruination.)

The population of the United States was 180 million at the time of writing, but there are 64 million over 60 years of age, leaving 116 million to do the work. People under 21 total 59 million which leaves 57 million people to do the work. Because of the 31 million government employees, there are only 26 million left to do the work. Six million in the armed forces leave twenty million workers. Deduct 17 million State, county, and city employees, and we are left with three million to do the work. There are 2, 500, 000 people in hospitals, asylums, and treatment facilities leaving half a million workers. However, 450, 000 of these are bums or others who will not work, leaving 50, 000 to do the work. Now, it may interest you to know that there are 49, 998 people in jail so that leaves just 2 people to do all the work, and that is you and me, and I'm getting tired of doing everything myself!

One day, heaven is beginning to fill up (of course due to the population explosion), so St. Peter decides to ask each person a question about the bible before they can enter. Three men stand at the pearly gates, waiting to get into heaven. "How many wise men were there?" St. Peter asks the first man. "Three." He answers, and the trumpets sound, the gates open, and the first man enters."How long did the flood last?" St. Peter asks the second man. "Forty days and forty nights." He answers, and the trumpets sound, the gates open and the second man enters. Seeing how easily the first two answered his trivia, St. Peter thinks of a much more difficult question for the second man. Finally, he asks, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam in the Garden?"The man thinks and thinks, but can't come up with an answer. "Boy, that's a hard one," he finally says. And the trumpets blow, the gates open, and the last man enters heaven.