Population Jokes

The word "racecar", "kayak", and "radar" are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left.

"a man a plan a canal panama" spelled backwards is still "a man a plan a canal panama"

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

A snail can sleep for three years.

Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.

"Go." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth 2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

Eskimos use refrigerators to keep food FROM freezing.

The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.

Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming more...

SAVE THE BOGAN (maximumus tightblackjeanus withmulletus)

First identified as a sub-species during the mid-70s, the Bogan is thought to be a close relation of the Booner (found in Canberra's outer suburbs) and the Westie (spread throughout Western Sydney). It is believed the initial Perth bogan population was introduced to purpose-built habitats such as Rockingham and Balga. However, by the mid-80s, the species had multiplied to plague proportions, spreading through much of Gosnells and outer-Mirrabooka. While authorities considered a culling program, they need not have bothered, as the regional population began a rapid decline from the early O90s onwards. The situation has now reached a critical point, with Bogans rarely sighted in Central Perth, and those remaining clinging to the region's outskirts.

In the year 2000, the species is now officially endangered. Identifying a Bogan is not difficult. Males sport a distinctive hair growth called a "mullet" more...

All polar bears are left handed.
Ten percent of the human population is left handed.
In conclusion, ten percent of the human population are polar bears.
The pope is one.
I am one.
In conclusion, I must be the pope.

One day, heaven is beginning to fill up (of course due to the population explosion), so St. Peter decides to ask each person a question about the bible before they can enter. Three men stand at the pearly gates, waiting to get into heaven. "How many wise men were there?" St. Peter asks the first man. "Three." He answers, and the trumpets sound, the gates open, and the first man enters."How long did the flood last?" St. Peter asks the second man. "Forty days and forty nights." He answers, and the trumpets sound, the gates open and the second man enters. Seeing how easily the first two answered his trivia, St. Peter thinks of a much more difficult question for the second man. Finally, he asks, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam in the Garden?"The man thinks and thinks, but can't come up with an answer. "Boy, that's a hard one," he finally says. And the trumpets blow, the gates open, and the last man enters heaven.

The average person is about a quarter of an inch taller at night.[Another quarter inch doesn't impress most women.]A sneeze zooms out of your mouth at over 600 m. p. h.[Along with everything else in your mouth at the time.]The condom - made originally of linen - was invented in the early 1500s.[That same year men began asking, "Put that on my WHAT?" ]The first known contraceptive was crocodile dung, used by Egyptians in 2000 B. C.[Does this explain Crocodile Dung Dee?]Watch out for flying hockey pucks - they travel at up to 100 mph.[Stand clear or you'll get pucked.]America's first nudist organization was founded in 1929, by 3 men.[3 very lonely men.]98% of American drivers think they drive better than anyone else.[The other 2% are NY cab drivers who know better.]When he's feeling amorous, the male sea otter grabs the female's nose with his teeth.[When the female feel amorous, she grabs something else.]In 1681, the last dodo bird died.[He was 41 and his name was also Fred.]A more...