Porsche Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was this blonde applying for a job and saw a sign that said needed for paint job, Come here. So she went to the house and knocked on the door.
She said, I'm here for the paint job;and the guy said, Ok.Here's the paint I want you to paint the porch.
She said, No Problem, and set off to work. She finished the first coating and decided because it didn't take very long she would give it a second coat.
She finished the second and knocked on the door. She said, I gave it two coats and oh, by the way, It's not a porsche, It's a ferrarie.

This is supposedly a true story, told to me by a second source.
An older woman was cruising a busy parking lot just before
Christmas in her new Mercedes-Benz looking in vain for a
parking space. She finally saw someone loaded with packages
heading for a car, so she followed him, put on her blinker and
waited patiently until he pulled out. Just as he pulled out
a young man in a sleek black Porsche zipped in to the space ahead of her.
She was dumbfounded and outraged, and jumped out of her car, shouting,
"How could you do that?
Didn't you see me waiting there with my signal on?"
to which he replied,
"That's what happens when you're young and fast."
As the young man was about to enter the store he heard the
hideous crunch of metal striking metal. He ran back, horrified, to
see that the woman had gunned her Mercedes and smashed it into his
beautiful black Porsche. He ran back and cried,
"How could you more...

Two men are sitting in a pub talking, one mentions that it's his wife's birthday soon and he doesn't know what to get her.The second man says that he bought his wife a blue Porsche and a red Porsche for her birthday because if she didn't like the blue one, she could have the red one, and vice versa.The next week, the second man asks the other what he finally bought his wife. He replies, "a necklace and a vibrator.""Why?" asks the second man.To which the other man replies, "Because if she doesn't like the necklace, she can go fuck herself."

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Porsche back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said,' I think I can stand over the hole!' So he stretched over the width of the hole and said,' Grab for my' thingy' and pull yourself up.' And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story:
If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Porsche to pick up chicks!

There was this blonde applying for a job and saw a sign that said needed for paint job, Come here. So she went to the house and knocked on the door.
She said,I'm here for the paint job;and the guy said,Ok.Here's the paint I want you to paint the porch.
She said, No Problem, and set off to work. She finished the first coating and decided because it didn't take very long she would give it a second coat.
She finished the second and knocked on the door. She said, I gave it two coats and oh,by the way, It's not a porsche, It's a ferrarie.

This joke involves an elephant who is walking through the jungle. And all of a sudden he falls into a pit and is stuck there. The elephant is stuck in this pit and realizes that he is going to die, so naturally he start to scream.
By chance a chicken hears the screaming of the elephant and decides to investigate. He sees the elephant stuck in the pit and shouts to the elephant: "Don't worry, I am going to save you".
The chicken then calls on the King of the Jungle. The King of the Jungle promptly arrives in his Red Porsche. He throws a rope from the Porsche into the pit, the elephant ties it around himself and the King of the Jungle pulls him out of the pit. The elephant is saved (loud applause).
So grateful is the elephant to the chicken that he promises him that he will one day do the same for him (if the chicken should ever be in mortal danger). As chance would have it, the next week the elephant is walking thru' the jungle and hears the screaming of a more...

This joke involves an elephant who is walking through the jungle. And all of a sudden he falls into a pit and is stuck there. The elephant is stuck in this pit and realizes that he is going to die, so naturally he start to scream.By chance a chicken hears the screaming of the elephant and decides to investigate. He sees the elephant stuck in the pit and shouts to the elephant: "Don't worry, I am going to save you".The chicken then calls on the King of the Jungle. The King of the Jungle promptly arrives in his Red Porsche. He throws a rope from the Porsche into the pit, the elephant ties it around himself and the King of the Jungle pulls him out of the pit. The elephant is saved (loud applause).So grateful is the elephant to the chicken that he promises him that he will one day do the same for him (if the chicken should ever be in mortal danger). As chance would have it, the next week the elephant is walking thru' the jungle and hears the screaming of a chicken. He wanders more...