Powerful Jokes / Recent Jokes

There once was a powerful Japanese emperor who needed a new chief samurai. So he sent out a declaration throughout the entire known world that he was searching for a chief. A year passed, and only three people applied for the very demanding position: a Japanese samurai, a Chinese samurai, and a Jewish samurai.The emperor asked the Japanese samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be the chief samurai. The Japanese samurai opened a matchbox, and out popped a bumblebee. Whoosh! went his sword. The bumblebee dropped dead, chopped in half. The emperor exclaimed, "That is very impressive!" The emperor then issued the same challenge to the Chinese samurai, to come in and demonstrate why he should be chosen. The Chinese samurai also opened a matchbox and out buzzed a fly. Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh! The fly dropped dead, chopped into four small pieces. The emperor exclaimed, "That is very impressive!" Now the emperor turned to the Jewish samurai, and asked him more...

Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.

(Reproduced without permission from Dave Barry's humor Archive)
Here is a dissertation on physical science for your enlightenment. I don't know where it came
from so it must be true!
Today's scientific question is: What in the world is electricity and where does it go after it
leaves the toaster?
Here is a simple experiment that will teach you an important electrical lesson: On a cool dry
day, scuff your feet along a carpet, then reach your hand into a friend's mouth and touch one of
his dental fillings. Did you notice how your friend twitched violently and cried out in pain?
This teaches one that electricity can be a very powerful force, but we must never use it to hurt
others unless we need to learn an important lesson about electricity.
It also illustrates how an electrical circuit works. When you scuffed your feet, you picked up
batches of "electrons", which are very small objects that carpet manufacturers weave into more...

Johnny was sitting on the steps with a container of turpentine, shaking it up and watching the bubbles, when a priest came along and asked him what he had. "What I have," said Johnny, "is the most powerful liquid in the world. It's turpentine."
"Oh no, my son," the priest said, "Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. If you take just a little of this Holy water and rub it on a pregnant woman's tummy, she will pass a healthy baby."
"Heck, that's nothing," said Johnny. "You take some of this turpentine, rub it on a cat's butt and he'll pass a motorcycle."

-It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.
-A detective can only solve a case once he has been fired from his job.
-If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
-Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
-It doesn't matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked them out.
-When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
-No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
-Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
-When more...