Prayers Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the
two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one
began praying at the top of his lungs, "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE. I PRAY
FOR A NEW NINTENDO. I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..."
His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why
are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf." To which the little brother
replied, "No, but Gramma is!"

Evening Prayers
When young David was asked by his father to say the evening prayer, he realised he didn`t have his head covered...so he asked his little brother Henry to rest a hand on his head until prayers were over.
Henry grew impatient after a few minutes and removed his hand.
The father said, "This is important...put your hand back on his head!"
-to which Henry exclaimed, "What, am I my brother`s kipah?"

Meyer, a lonely widower, was walking home along Delancey Street one day wishing something wonderful would change his life, when he passed a Pet Store and heard a squawking voice shouting out in Yiddish, "Quawwwwk. .. vus machst du. .. yeah, du. .. outside, standing like a schlmiel. .. eh?"
Meyer rubbed his eyes and ears. He couldn't believe it. The proprietor sprang out of the door and grabbed Meyer by the sleeve. "Come in here, fella, and check out this parrot. .."
Meyer stood in front of an African Grey that cocked his little head and said, "Vus? Ir kent reddin Yiddish?"
Meyer turned excitedly to the store owner. "He speaks Yiddish?"
"Vuh den? Chinese maybe?"
In a matter of moments, Meyer had placed five hundred dollars down on the counter and carried the parrot in his cage away with him. All night he talked with the parrot in Yiddish. He told the parrot about his father's adventures coming to America, about more...

A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers - which she ended by saying "God bless mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma, and good-bye grandpa."

The father said, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?" The little girl said "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."

The next day grandpa died. Father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this - "God bless mommy, God bless daddy and good-bye grandma. Next day the grandmother died.

My gosh, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say "God bless mommy and good-bye daddy."

He practically went into shock. Couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. more...

One night, a father overheard his son saying his prayers, "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Bye bye, Grandpa." The father found this strange, and didn't quite know what to make of it, but soon forgot about it. The following day, Grandpa died of a heart attack.
The next night, he heard his son praying again. "God bless Mommy and Daddy. Bye bye, Grandma." This troubled the father but, again, he didn't know what to do about it. The next morning, Grandma was on the floor, dead from a heart attack.
Really worried now, the father decided to wait outside his son's door the next night. Sure enough, the boy began to pray. "God bless, Mommy. Bye bye, Daddy."
The frantic father didn't know what to do. He stayed awake all night and went to the doctor's early in the morning to make sure he was all right. When he finally came home, his wife was waiting for him on the porch.
"Thank goodness you're home," she exclaimed. "We found the more...

Both of the following men have cheated on their wives and have decided to take it to the Lord. One is a gangster and one is a Christian. This is their prayers....
Christian husband:
Dear Father Son and Holy Ghost,
I have sinned and am so sorry. I cheated on my wife with her best friend. Please allow my wife to forgive me for it was a long night and I didn't mean to hurt her.
Amen
Gangster husband:
Waz up Pops Pops Jr. and Spooks,
I cheated on my women last night. She is pissed off but I have a good reason for my actions. You see I'm a pimp in my old town and one of my leading ladies was having some trouble so you know, Lil' Willy down there make it all better. Well, my woman found out so you know let this blow over.
Gangster out