Pregnant Jokes / Recent Jokes

Letter from Daughter to Parents Dear Mother and Dad: It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been remissin writing this and I am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not havingwritten before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. YOU ARE NOT TO READ ANY FURTHER UNLESS YOU ARE SITTING DOWN. OKAY! Well then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and theconcussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when itcaught fire shortly after my arrival are pretty well healed now. I only getthose sick headaches once a day. Fortunately the fire in the dormitory and my jump were witnessed by an attendantat the gas station near the dorm, and he was the one who called the firedepartment and the ambulance. He also visited me at the hospital and sinceI had nowhere to live, because of the burned out dormitory, he was kind enoughto invite me to share his apartment with him. It's really a basement room, but it's more...

Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives.
1st: How yours look like?
2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. What about yours?
1st: Forget mine. Lets find yours!!

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend to death.
Wife says, "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends".

Small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother"
Santa wrote back," SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"

What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress

Husband asks, "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
"Without Information Fighting Everytime"
Wife replies," No, It means,
"With Idiot For Ever! !!"

Three Feelings:
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and
Panic is more...

If a player gets pregnant during the WNBA season,I wonder if they put her on the 275 day disabled list?

what is the height of sex?
Ans:A pregnant mother giving birth to pregnant daughter.

One Sardarji Had Some Health Problem And Was Advised For Urine Test. In The Morning He Puts Urine In A Bottle And Kept In The Toilet. His Wife Goes To Toilet And By Mistake She Hits The Urine Bootle And Urine Spills. She Thought Sardarji Will Get Angry, She Put Her Urine In That Bottle.
After Some Time Sardarji Takes That Bottle To Lab And Gives For Testing. In The Evening He Goes To Collect The Report And Is Shocked To See The Result Showing " He Is Pregnant". He Comes Home And Shouts At His Wife "Tenu Kinni Vas Keha Mere Upar Na Chadhya Kar, Ai Dekh Report, Mein Pregnant Ho Gaya.

Q. what did the blonde say when she was pregnant?
A. are you sure it is mine.

Hillary went in for her yearly checkup. When she was finished, she asked her gynecologist how things looked. He said he was pleased and that she is in great shape but, that she was pregnant! She told the doctor there was no way, but he said that she most definitely was a month pregnant. Well, she stormed out of the office and went to the receptionist and took the phone and called the White House. When the operator answered she said that it was Hillary and that she wanted to talk to Bill right away. Well, they rang the Oval Office and Bill answered.
Hillary said: "Do you know what you did you rotten bastard" You got me pregnant!!!"
Bill remained quiet.
Again, Hillary screamed, "DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID, YOU ROTTEN BASTARD? YOU GOT ME PREGNANT!!!"
Finally Bill answered, "Who is this???"