Pregnant Jokes / Recent Jokes
Hillary went to her doctor for her yearly checkup. When she was finished, she asked her gynecologist how things looked. He told her that she was in great shape, but that she was pregnant.
She advised the doctor that wasn't possible, but he insisted she most definitely was pregnant. She stormed out of the office, went to the receptionist, grabbed the phone and immediately called the White House.
When the operator answered, Hillary identified herself and told her she wanted to speak to Bill right away. When Bill answered the phone in the Oval Office, Hillary screamed at him, "Do you know what you did, you jerk? You got me pregnant!"
There was silence on the other end of the line. Again, Hillary yelled, "I said, DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID YOU BASTARD! YOU GOT... "
Finally, Bill answered, "Ummm, who is this?"
How does a pregnant lady know she is going to give birth to a future lawyer?
She gets this terrible craving for bologna!
A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination. The guy doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will, instead, lay down and wallow in the grass when they are pregnant. The Man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs more...
A woman was travelling alone one evening when her car broke down far from home. she decided to look for a place to sleep close by. she found a house owned by two brothers who gladly offered her a room. during the night the woman got horny and couldnt make a decision on who she would sleep with, so she chose to sleep with both of them. so to prevent her from getting pregnant, she told the brothers to put on condoms and she had sex with both of them. in the morning she left for her home. ten years later, the two brothers were sitting outside talking. one asked the other,"do you remember the woman we slept with ten years ago?""yes,"his brother answered."do you think she got pregnant?""no,"he answered again."so i think it is safe to remove these condoms".
Q: What does a blonde say when she's pregnant?
A: "I hope it isn't mine!"