Prescription Jokes / Recent Jokes

The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will."
"That is very kind of you," said the doctor emotionally, and then added,
"Can I see that prescription I just gave you? I'd like to make a little change..."

The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will."
"That is very kind of you," said the doctor emotionally, and then added, "Can I see that prescription I just gave you? I'd like to make a little change..."

The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will.""That is very kind of you," said the doctor emotionally, and then added, "Can I see that prescription I just gave you? I'd like to make a little change..."

The patient went to his doctor for a checkup, and the doctor wrote out a prescription for him in his usual illegible writing.
The patient put it in his pocket, but he forgot to have it filled. Every morning for two years, he showed it to the conductor as a railroad pass. Twice, it got him into the movies, once into the baseball park, and once into the symphony.
He got a raise at work by showing it as a note from the boss. One day, he mislaid it. His daughter picked it up, played it on the piano, and won a scholarship to a conservatory of music.

The patient went to his doctor for a checkup, and the doctor wrote out a prescription for him in his usual illegible writing.The patient put it in his pocket, but he forgot to have it filled. Every morning for two years, he showed it to the conductor as a railroad pass. Twice, it got him into the movies, once into the baseball park, and once into the symphony.He got a raise at work by showing it as a note from the boss. One day, he mislaid it. His daughter picked it up, played it on the piano, and won a scholarship to a conservatory of music.

A man was prescribed Viagra by his doctor who told him to take it one hour before sex. The man collected his prescription and went home to wait for his wife to get in from work.
An hour before she was due home, he took the Viagra pill. But just as he was expecting her, she phoned to say that she wouldn't be in for another two and a half hours.
In a panic, he phoned the doctor. "What should I do?" he asked. "I've taken the pill but the effects will have worn off by the time my wife gets home."
"I see," said the doctor. "It is a pity to waste it. Do you have a maid?" "Yes." "Well, could you not occupy yourself with her instead?"
"But I don't need Viagra with the maid."

Pedal-powered dialysis machines.
Use of antibiotics deemed an "unauthorized experimental procedure"
Head-wound victim in the waiting room is on the last chapter of "War and Peace"
You ask for Viagra. You get a popsicle stick and duct tape.
Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters.
Exam room has a tip jar.
You swear you saw salad tongs and a crab fork on the instrument tray just before the anesthesia kicked in.
"Will you be paying in eggs or pelts?"
Tight budget prevents acquisition of separate rectal thermometers.
"Take two leeches and call me in the morning"
The company logo features a hand squeezing a bleeding turnip.
Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicle.
Covered postnatal care consists of leaving your baby on Mia Farrow's doorstep.
Radiation treatment for cancer patients requires them to walk around with a postcard from Chernobyl in their pocket.
"Pre-natal vitamin" more...