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A fellow had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who was
stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. "Open these if
you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve," he said.
Well, things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a downturn and he was
really catching a lot of heat. About at his wits's end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his
drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, "Blame your predecessor."
The new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO.
Satisfied with his comments, the press -- and Wall Street -- responded positively, sales began to
pick up and the problem was soon behind him.
About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious
product problems. Having learned from his more...

Arkansas Governor Application First name:___________________Last name(if known):_______________________Address (where you live):Mother's name(list also relation, i.e., sister):__________________Birthdate(yours):____________________Father's name (if known, if not, list two possible choices)______________Color of neck: Light Red( ) Medium Red( ) Dark Red( ) No Neck( )Year of pickup truck:____________ Do you have the following in your truck: Fuzzy Dice( ) Gun Rack( ) Coon Tail( ) Filled ash tray( ) Used Condoms( ) Dead Road Kill( ) Dog of Unknown Breed( )Have you ever been to a large city? (Like Little Rock) Yes( ) No( )How far can you throw cow pies? __________ Do you eat cow pies? Yes( ) No( )Wife's name:__________________ Is she: Cousin( ) Neighbor( ) Sister( ) Mother( ) Neighbor's dog( ) Right hand( )Does your wife weigh: Less than 200 Pounds( ) Less than 300 Pounds( ) Less than a 747( ) More than a 747( )Do you know what a 747 is? Yes( ) No( )How much smarter than you is your wife: more...

If Microsoft Ran The IRS "Government should be run like a business." We've all heard that chestnut. Here is how the Internal Revenue Service (nobody's favorite government agency) would be like, if only it were run like Microsoft Corp. (a successful private enterprise). - The IRS, as always, announces new tax forms will be mailed the week before the new year. However it will follow Microsoft's example and actually ship them the following May. - Responding to pressure from some large corporations and a users' group, some early copies of the tax forms will actually be released in March. The recipients must sign non-disclosure agreements. - In June, the forms will be recalled because the IRS loses a suit for appropriating some other country's intellectual property. - When you move, the IRS will continue to send mail to your previous address forevermore, just like Microsoft sends its product upgrade notices. - When you upgrade from form 1040 EZ to 1040 A, and then to 1040, you more...

There are three blondes stranded on an island. Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each of them one wish. The first blonde asks to be intelligent. Instantly, she is turned into a brown haired woman and she swims off the island. The next one asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one, so instantly she is turned into a black haired woman. The black haired woman builds a boat and sails off the island. The third blonde asks to become even more intelligent than the previous two. The fairy turns her into a man, and he walks across the bridge!

Morris had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes....#1,#2,#3. "Open these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve," the departing CEO said.
Well, things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a downturn and Morris was really catching a lot of heat. About at his wit's end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, "Blame your predecessor."
Morris, the new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the press - and Wall Street - responded positively, sales began to pick up and the problem was soon behind him.
About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. Having learned from his more...

Morris had just been hired as the new Director of a large high tech corporation. The Director who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes...#1, #2, #3. "Open these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve," the departing Director said.Well, things went along pretty smoothly, but 6 months later, sales took a downturn and Morris was really catching a lot of heat. About at his wit's end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, "Blame your predecessor." Morris, the new Director, called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous Director. Satisfied with his comments, the press and Wall Street responded positively, sales began to pick up and the problem was soon behind him.About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. Having learned from more...

Morris had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes.... #1, #2, and #3.
"Open these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve," the departing CEO said.
Well, things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a downturn and Morris was really catching a lot of heat. About at his wit's end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, "Blame your predecessor."
Morris, the new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the press -- and Wall Street -- responded positively, sales began to pick up and the problem was soon behind him.
About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. Having more...