Prime Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once M. O. Mathai rang up Acharya Kripalani's residence and in a tone, characteristic of the prime ministerial staff, said,' I'm Mathai, speaking from the Prime Minister's house.'
Not to be outdone, Kripalani retorted:' I'm Kripalani, speaking from my own house.'

[This mail, copyright, the Indian masses - C.]
There will be branches of Olive Garden all over India and they will be called OZinda Bagicha!
The only vegetarian dish will be Eggplant Parmesan and it will be called Anda-Pauda Parmeshwaran!
All Vadapav Gaadis and Stalls will be selling Pizza and Pasta.
India's National Sport will be - of course, Soccer.
Laloo will lose his position as the national animal and will be replaced by Jayalalitha!
National vegetable - Zucchini!
There will be Pope John Paul's "yearly" visit TWICE every year!
Jahangir Art gallery will be renamed to "Michaelangelo's Confetti House"!
Men in Indian Army will wear Mini Skirts! (Yikes!)
And... the number one thing that will happen if Sonia Becomes the Prime Minister of India is...
All Sindhi People will get promotions in their positions because Madame thinks they are all ITALIANS! (Kotwani, Multani, Vaswani... after all they do resemble Mussolini, more...

Mathematician: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, and by induction - every odd integer higher than 2 is a prime.
Physicist: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 is an experimental error, 11 is a prime,...
Engineer: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 is a prime, 11 is a prime,...
Programmer: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 7 is a prime,...
Salesperson: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 -- we'll do for you the best we can,...
Computer Software Salesperson: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 will be prime in the next release,...
Biologist: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 -- results have not arrived yet,...
Advertiser: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 11 is a prime,...
Lawyer: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 -- there is not enough evidence to prove that it is not a prime,...
Accountant: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime, deducing 10% tax more...

PAKISTAN Prime Minister, Ms Benazir Bhutto, while addressing a meeting of PPP workers:' I want you to know that when I became Prime Minister the country's economy stood on the edge of an abyss. I am proud to tell you that since then we have made a brave step forward.'

"Brussels police department, how may I assist you?"
"Uh.. yes.. I just got hit in the face with a cream pie."
"Okay, sir. Have you called the Brussels police department before?"
"No."
"Well, let me get a little information about you for our records. Your name?"
"Bill Gates."
"Country?"
"The USA."
"Native language?"
"English."
"Okay, sir. Your police department ID number is BP31415927. Please use this number the next time you call. Now, you say you were hit in the face with a pie?"
"Yes, I was just about to meet with the Belgian Prime Minister. One person distracted me while another hit me with a cream pie."
"We've had other customers report that they were hit in the face with a custard pie. Are you sure it was a cream pie?"
"Well, I have white stuff all over my face and I don't see any custard, so I more...

A true story from the Japanese Embassy in US:
Prime Minister Mori was given some basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets with President Bill Clinton.
The instructor told Mori " Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Clinton, please say' how are you'. Then Mr Clinton should say "I am fine, and you?
" Now you should say' me too'. Afterwards we, translators, will do all the work for you." It looks quite simple, but the truth is. ...
When Mori met Clinton, he mistakenly said "Who Are You? ". Mr Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humour: "Well, I am Hilary's usband, ha ha..."
Then Mori replied confidently "Me too, ha ha ha.."
Then there was a long silent moment in the meeting room.

President Bill Clinton called Chretien with an emergency: "Our largest condom factory has exploded!" the American President cried. "My people's favorite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!"
"Bill, da Canadian pipple would be' appy to do anyt'ing wit'in der power to' elp you" replied the Prime Minster. (Yes, he does speak like that)
"I do need your help," said Clinton. "Could you possibly send 1, 000, 000 Condoms ASAP to tie us over?"
"Certainment! I get right on it!" said Chretien.
"Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Clinton.
"Oui?"
"Could the condoms be red, white and blue in colour; at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?" said Clinton.
"No problem" replied the Prime Minister and, with that, Cretien hung up and called the President of Trojan.
"I need a favour, you got to make 1, 000, 000 condoms right away and more...