Prime Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day the prime minister of Zaire was invited to a
conference by the Russian prime minister.
After a long discussion about economics the Zairen
prime minister asked the Russian to take him out to a
pub to watch a game of Russian roulette.
He heard of it before but didn't know how it was
played. They walked in and to the Zairen's amazement
someone just blew their head off.
He was shoked and said to the Russian that that is not
the way to play the original roulette.
A couple of months went by and the Russian prime
minister had to visit Zaire for economical issues.
the Zairen met the Russian onces again and after long
talks the Zairen took the Russian to a game of Zairen
roulette in a rondawel(mud hut).
They walked in and the Russian was amazed when he saw
no guns and alot of black women in traditional dresses
sitting in the hut.
The Russian finally asked the Zairen how the game more...

PRESS RELEASE:
Prime Minister of Canada to Visit Washington Statement by the Press Secretary
President Bush and Prime Minister John Chretien of Canada met on Sept. 24th with the Canadian Leader strongly supporting the war on terrorism. Prime Minister Chretien issued the following statement:
CANADIANS WILL HELP AMERICA WITH THE WAR ON TERRORISM!
WE HAVE PLEDGED:
- 2 BATTLE SHIPS,
- 600 GROUND TROOPS,
- 6 FIGHTER JETS.
AFTER THE AMERICAN EXCHANGE RATE, THEY WILL END UP WITH:
- 2 CANOES,
- 6 MOUNTIES,
- AND A BUNCH OF FLYING SQUIRRELS

PRESS RELEASE:Prime Minister of Canada to Visit Washington Statement by the Press Secretary President Bush and Prime Minister John Chretien of Canada met on Sept. 24th with the Canadian Leader strongly supporting the war on terrorism. Prime Minister Chretien issued the following statement:CANADIANS WILL HELP AMERICA WITH THE WAR ON TERRORISM! WE HAVE PLEDGED:- 2 BATTLE SHIPS,- 600 GROUND TROOPS,- 6 FIGHTER JETS.AFTER THE AMERICAN EXCHANGE RATE, THEY WILL END UP WITH:- 2 CANOES,- 6 MOUNTIES,- AND A BUNCH OF FLYING SQUIRRELS

10. "No, please, Data, go on. I find your list of synonyms for 'extinct' facinating..."
9. "Good work, Counsellor. If you hadn't told us those aliens had hostile intent, we would have been completely fooled by their plan."
8. "Jean-Luc, since the ship is in no danger at all and we're not about to die, I want to tell you..."
7. "The...doohickey...has gone all...funny, making that gizmo light up...the one that means the warp engines are...ya know...all messed up."
6. "Captain's Log, Stardate...damn. What's the date? Number One, what's today? No, I know it's Tuesday, what's the date? The STARdate!"
5. "Tea, Lemon Zinger, iced."
4. "Klingons do NOT wear frilly underwear...at least not on duty."
3. "Prime Directive? We don't need no steenkin' Prime Directive!"
2. "The aliens are locking their weapons on us...firing...a miss. Shall I open hailing frequencies so you can laugh more...

Prime Minister Jean Chretien was meeting with officials in Flin Flon, Manitoba. It was a very hot day and the ceremonies took place outside in a local grandstand. The Mayor was surprised to see that Chretien was wearing a large fox fur hat, despite the heat.
After a while the mayor leaned over and spoke up. "Excuse me, Mr. Prime Minister, but I can't help wondering why you are wearing that fox hat when it is so warm?"
Chretien shrugged. "Well, you know 'ow it is", he replied. "My wife, she is da dresser in da family, so I always take 'er advice.
If I go to de Maritime, she say 'Wear da toque'.
If I go to Calgaree, she say 'Wear da stetson'.
Dis time she ask me where I go; I say Flin Flon.
She say 'Flin Flon! Where the fock's 'at ?'
So I did!"

Two diplomats are riding in a limousine in Moscow, an Indian and a Russian, discussing state business.

The Russian says to the Indian, "Rohit, I like you, but my superiors say the deal can't go through. They don't want to be associated with your country. They tell me it's filthy and the citizens just shit on the streets."

"That is not true!" exclaims the Indian, "We are very fastidious... in fact, you're not one to talk, isn't that someone shitting on your fine sidewalk?" he points out the window where there is indeed a squatted figure defecating on the sidewalk.

The Russian diplomat is enraged. "Stop the car!" he yells at the driver, Pavel. "Pavel, go execute that shitting man." Pavel nods at his boss, stops the the car and takes out a gun.

After a minute, he shakes his head and returns to his boss. "Sir, I cannot execute him."

"Why the hell not?" yells the more...

Once Pervez Musharaf invited the Indian prime minister to Pakistan, to show the Pakistani technology.
In the Pakistani parliament, on one side there was indian prime minister and on the other side was pakistan's prime minister. In the Pakistan prime minister's chair there were three buttons. Musharaf asked the Indian prime minister to press the three buttons one by one and after pressing each button he got a punch.
Then the Indian prime minister invited musharaf to India. Same position with Musharaf there where 3 buttons on his seat. After pressing each button Musharaf didn't feel anything. Musharaf was so angry and he told the Indian Prime minister that I am going back to pakistan. THEN THE INDIAN PRIME MINISTER LAUGHED AND REPLIED WHICH PAKISTAN? YOU HAVE ALREADY LAUNCHED 3 NUCLEAR MISSILES AND IT IS NOW NO MORE!!!!